Eternal, Snow, Perpetual Rain
by Aozorain
Summary: AU. A chance meeting allows Meroko to meet and befriend Takuto Kira - her idol and long-time crush. She jumps at the chance to make Takuto realise her feelings, but even maintaining their friendship is not so easy...  Eventual IzuMero and TakuMitsu
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, and welcome to what I call my new story! It's the first time I'm writing for FullMoon though. I'm nervous as always.**

**Some background: I came up with the idea for this story last May (wow it's been long). I was going to the university to take entrance exams. I had been listening to a song called This One (Crying like a child) by Hikaru Utada and somehow I just started thinking of it like this. Chapters one and two were written way back then, but then something made me put the project on hold. I started working on it at the beginning of November (making it sort-of-but-not-really a NaNoWriMo project for myself...but much less difficult. I cut down the daily word count from the start and didn't worry about it too much.)**

**I can't say this baby is perfect in any way whatsoever but it got me writing again, which I'm grateful for.**

**As a side note, remember those entrance exams? I'll be happy to tell you I passed and am now studying English in said university!**

**Alright, now enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 : It's just another Friday night<strong>

**- . - . - . - . - . -**

_Miss Meroko Yui_.

That's what the envelope said, no mistaking it. But…could it really be?

'_Maybe this is some kind of a mistake? A prank? But why would anyone do something like that…?'_

The addressee of the letter stood paralyzed in front of her post box, holding the small white envelope with both hands. She blinked hard three times before looking again. Yes, it still was a letter for her…with the logo of SEED Records imprinted on the upper left corner. Meroko took a deep breath before turning on her heels and dashing up the stairs to her apartment in the third floor (the lift was under maintenance – as usual). With shaking hands she somehow fumbled the door open and ran to the tiny kitchen. She ripped the envelope open while praying to any possible deity that the contents would remain unharmed.

There were two pieces of paper in the envelope. One was a white sheet that was neatly folded in the middle and the other a smaller piece, the colour of deep purple. The larger paper said:

_Miss Meroko Yui,_

_Congratulations! You have won the draw competition organized in collaboration of SEED Records and T.A. Cosmetics. The enclosed special ticket will grant you entry to the backstage party with all the hottest stars on June 15th. Please arrive to the Black Orchid club (see the map) at 10 P.M. and present your special ticket at the door. Information: the ticket is strictly personal, and cannot be resold or exchanged in any way..._

Meroko skimmed through the rest and then looked at the smaller piece of paper. It also had the logos of both companies, together with the letters _"162 Meroko Yui"_.

It had been just an advertisement she had seen in a magazine. The lucky winner would get to the party and meet their favourite idols from SEED – Takuto Kira from Route L among the most prestigious_._ There had to have been hundreds, no, thousands of entries…and Meroko was the one who had been chosen?

"I'm dreaming, right?" Meroko asked the ticket, but it decided against commenting on the issue.

Meroko had been a hardcore fan of Route L ever since their debut. Trying to get every single album, photo book, magazine interview and fan product, Meroko had been scolded by her conservative mother who wasn't very fond of the thought of her daughter spending her allowance on such "unrespectable" things. Meroko hadn't given up, though: as she grew older, she was permitted – with utmost reluctance on her parents' part – to go to concerts and see her idols live.

Four years ago, however, the bomb had been dropped. Aoi Koga, the guitarist of the band, had died in a car accident and Route L had disbanded. Meroko still found her chest clenching when she thought of those times. She had been especially worried about Takuto, who was her favourite among the band members. He was about the same age as her and she had more or less lived the first half of her teen years together with him, though worlds apart. The young vocalist had simply disappeared for almost two whole years after the end of Route L, but re-emerged just as suddenly to begin a solo career. Earlier the same day that the news was revealed, Meroko had been dumped by her boyfriend, Izumi Lio.

Long story short, that was how Meroko had embraced the life of an overzealous fangirl once again.

"I can't believe it...finally, finally...I will actually _meet_ him."

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><p><em>Inside the Black Orchid club, there was a real party going. You could spot celebrities left and right, drinking and chatting and dancing to music, all of which hadn't probably even been officially released – that was just another way to show how exclusive the event was. But Meroko didn't care about all the familiar faces at the moment, as she only had eyes for the one she was looking for.<em>

_She finally saw him leaning into a wall apart from all the many groups of people, looking a little bored. When his eyes met hers, however, he lifted his eyebrows curiously. She blushed and approached him carefully._

"_Um...I'm Meroko Yui...nice to meet you...Takuto."_

_His face melted into a pleasant smile as he spoke, eyes glimmering. The music seemed to fade into the background..._

"_So you're Meroko. I've wanted to meet you." _

_... _

'_...No _way_ it's gonna play out like that!'_ Meroko snickered at the unlikely scene in her mind. Sure, she had sent Takuto letters and gifts for every single birthday, Valentine's day, Christmas, New Year and all anniversaries imaginable, but a reaction like that was probably a bit too much to expect. A good chunk of Route L fans had carried over to become Takuto Kira fans, after all...there was just too much competition.

But a girl could always dream, couldn't she?

"_Now's not the time for dreaming, though!" _Meroko fiercely reminded herself as she gripped tightly on the map with directions to the club. _"It's somewhere in this area, I'm positive!"_

It was fifteen to ten in the evening. Meroko would have wanted to have more time to look for the club, but her boss had made her take the evening shift in the convenience store she worked because they were short on staff: one woman was on maternity leave and another had suddenly come down with a cold. Having to get home to change and then transport herself to the right part of the town, she couldn't afford getting lost – an experience she was all too familiar with.

Meroko walked around the corner and was met by a huge building that was lit up a bit more lavishly than the other ones on the street. There even was a large sign next to the door that said the club was exclusively reserved for SEED invitees.

Glancing at the doorman, who was just the classic image of the profession – a large man wearing a dark suit and sunglasses – Meroko felt like running away. But she had to be brave (_"Remember Takuto!"_), so she took a deep breath and walked up to the man with as much confidence as she could muster. He looked at her sceptically.

"Your ticket, please," he said, extending his hand which was somewhat reminiscent of a bear's paw. Meroko fumbled for her purse and for a moment a completely irrelevant fear overtook her: what if she had somehow lost the ticket? ...No, it was there, safely right where she had put it, undamaged. She handed the precious item to the doorman with a nervous smile. The moment of truth.

After briefly inspecting the ticket and checking Meroko's purse for any forbidden items, the man almost smiled and said:

"Welcome, Miss Yui. The first and the second floor of the club are in use tonight. There's a buffet and bar in both floors."

Stepping inside the solid steeldoors into the club was like entering a different world. It was much like Meroko had imagined, only bigger and flashier. The club itself was nearly futuristic, with black-and-red furnishing that seemed so expensive that Meroko wondered if she even dared to use a chair, should she find a vacant one. The dance floor was large but full and the lights were clearly no less than state-of-the-art...although with Meroko's quite limited experience on nightclubs, it was hard to be sure. Wherever she looked, there were only cool and confident people about – every third of them seeming to have stepped straight from television or a magazine – and everyone was apparently having the time of their lives.

Meroko decided to head for the bar counter, firstly for the sake of blending in and secondly, if you are a college dropout living on your own, you have to use every opportunity to get food or drinks free.

"What will you be getting?" the woman at the counter asked, while preparing the previous customers' order.

'_Whatever there is, as long as it's free,'_ Meroko thought, painfully aware of the few coins in her wallet that were her best bet to get back home. Times were tough right before payday. But she was supposed to act like these laid-back famous people and people who were friends with them. She was Meroko-who-was-invited-to-a-celebrity-party, not Meroko-the-penniless-failure-of-a-human-being.

"I don't really mind, as long as it's something special. Something to remember tonight by," she said, trying to remember how people in movies did this. The woman barely looked at her and made something red with a tint of orange in it. Meroko never caught the drink's name, it sounded like French. As Meroko took the glass with both hands, afraid of dropping it, the barmaid gave her a knowing look and said,

"It's low on alcohol, so it'll save you the trip to the pharmacy tomorrow."

Right. So the "blending in" plan was already failing.

Next Meroko set out to look for Takuto. Unless the concert had started late, he should already have arrived at the Black Orchid. But wherever she looked, there was no sign of him. Finally Meroko gathered up the courage to ask a group of women probably in their early twenties who were gossiping intently. They all wore short evening dresses and matching high heels, all probably several times worth Meroko's "15% off" outfit.

"Um, excuse me…have you happened to see Takuto Kira here?"

The trio silenced simultaneously and looked at Meroko, _slowly_.

"No sight of him," one finally replied, "as if he ever actually shows up here, when he's so busy with _her_ around…" With that, she turned her back on Meroko to continue discussion on whatever shockingly attention-grabbing triviality she had been explaining before the intrusion.

Meroko was baffled by the answer she had been given. Why wouldn't Takuto come to the party? Why did the woman's comment make him sound like a total jerk? Was it just to spite a newcomer or was that how she really felt? Most importantly, who was Takuto supposed to "be so busy around"? That question made Meroko feel uneasy.

Of course she had heard plenty of rumours about Takuto's relationships. The magazines would pair him up with a different girl almost every week, each claiming to have solid proof that he was dating with Miss A or that he had just had a storming breakup with Miss K. Meroko had never really bought those stories, they all seemed way too exaggerated and quite simply made-up. But wasn't it a little childish to think that Takuto, who was a handsome young man on his own right, and a popular musician as well, didn't have anyone special in his life?

'_Now I feel like an idiot, getting my hopes up like that,' _Meroko thought to herself, swallowing a lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. She left her half-empty glass on a nearby table, not in the mood for drinks anymore.

'_I wonder where the restroom is...'_

Meroko made her way through the crowd to a less densely occupied area. She had just turned around the corner and walked into a corridor which seemed to be leading to the toilets when someone bumped into her. They had walked quickly, almost angrily, and Meroko was thrown off-balance. She stumbled with a yelp but a hand gripped her arm tightly before she fell. That was when Meroko looked up.

"Takuto!"

Meroko snapped her mouth shut and blushed fiercely. Of all the people to run into, it had had to be him. And she even had yelled his name out loud like that, she didn't even _know_ him – well, not personally. That was just how surprised she had been.

He seemed surprised, too. Standing nearly a head taller than her, Takuto's beautiful gray eyes watched Meroko from above, strands of dark hair drooping around his face in a relaxed manner – a look very few people could pull off without looking just untidy. His face was somewhat flushed, but it was different from Meroko's: it was like he had been very agitated just a moment ago.

"Sorry. Are you alright?"

Meroko mumbled that she was fine, trying her best to keep calm despite the fact that Takuto's hand was still wrapped around her bare arm. He didn't seem fazed in the least, naturally removing said hand and putting it loosely on his hip.

"Say, are you alone? Care to keep me company?"

Meroko couldn't believe her luck. She pushed all her previous thoughts about Takuto's possible girlfriends. Who cared? _She_ was asked to spend some time with the person she had dreamed about for the better part of her adolescence! Finding the restroom was suddenly much lower a priority.

Takuto led Meroko to the second floor, where there was a door in a corner that was off-limits from guests, according to the sign attached next to it. Takuto opened the door without hesitation and motioned for Meroko to go in. Having adjusted her eyes to the dim space, Meroko realised it was a staircase that seemed to lead to the third floor which was supposed to be closed for the evening.

"It's one of the pros of the profession," Takuto told her, grinning as he opened the door at the end of the stairs, "You get to know all the good getaways."

The third floor was like a big indoor terrace, about half the size of the second floor, furnished with sofas and chairs gathered around black tables. One wall consisted of large windows and you could see the dance floor on the lower level through them. The noise from the second floor was muffled by the thick windows, so it was possible to talk without raising one's voice there. None of the people in the room turned to look at Takuto or his companion.

"Wow...I didn't notice there was a place like this up here," Meroko admitted as the two took a seat next to the window.

"It's hard to see from below," Takuto explained, looking a little smug over the impression his getaway had made on the girl. "I won't introduce myself since you seem to know me already... So, what's your name?"

Meroko quickly turned her face away from the window in realisation. "Oh, that's right, I didn't tell you. It's Meroko. Meroko Yui." Secretly she scanned his face for signs of recognition...which were nowhere to be found.

"Meroko from where?"

"Sorry?" What kind of a question was that?

"Ah, I mean...What do you do?"

"I, uh...I'm...a cashier at a general store." It was a little embarrassing to say that, knowing perfectly well how much his life differed from hers.

"A general store? So you're not from SEED?" Takuto seemed sincerely surprised. It was an expression Meroko had never seen on his face and she couldn't help smiling inwardly when she realised that she was the only one who saw that face at that specific moment. At that instant, she was special in a way that no other fan of Takuto's was.

Returning to the present, Meroko took the ticket from her purse and handed it to him, who was sitting opposite to her: "I'm here because I won this ticket. It was the prize of some competition." She couldn't remember which it could have been because she always took part on any competition that had to do with him...but saying that out loud would have made her seem like a fanatic.

Takuto returned her ticket with an apologetic face. "Sorry, didn't mean to pry into your business. I didn't know you, so I thought you might be one of those new recruits... I heard the winner of last week's singing audition is supposed to be here. A girl of sixteen or thereabout."

"Sorry, but you didn't get even close. I'm exactly seven months and three weeks older than you and me singing is something you don't really want to hear."

"Right, my bad then," Takuto chuckled. "I'm just glad you don't do modelling."

"What's wrong with modelling?"

"Nothing in particular... Is this your first time here?"

Seeing he clearly didn't want to talk about his odd remark, Meroko didn't push the issue. Instead, she indulged herself in what was a surprisingly relaxed conversation considering who she was talking with. Takuto wasn't showing off, at least not _too_ much, and he wasn't treating Meroko like a piece of dirt stuck under his shoe just because she was a "nobody". But after a while, she found she couldn't shake the feeling that he was staring at her a bit oddly.

"Um...do I have something on my face?" she asked nervously. Takuto seemed to fully return back to the room, shaking his head.

"Face? No, I was actually just looking at your...hair. I don't remember seeing anything like it. It was part of the reason why I thought you were in show business – you see a lot of original hairstyles here," he said, chuckling. "I'm not what you'd call a professional, but yours is definitely on the better side."

"Th-thanks," Meroko stammered at the sudden compliment, unconsciously starting to fiddle with a few strands of her waist-long pink mane, "Back when I dyed it...it was sort of a rebel thing, I guess," she smiled at the memory of her mother's mortified face when Meroko first presented herself wearing her new pink hair, "but then it just became a habit. Plus, my boyfriend seemed to like it..."

"Boyfriend, huh," Takuto commented without a trace of emotion. But then again, what had she been hoping for? Jealousy, disappointment? On what planet would that make sense?

Anyway, that topic was a definite taboo. No going there. Nuh-uh.

"But- but that's ancient history already! Irrevocably, undeniably, completely over," she blurted, annoyed at herself for making that stupid mistake. It would be a wonder if they could keep on talking like they had a moment ago. But Takuto just smiled and brushed it off.

"I guess everybody has things like that, sometimes."

How more perfect could a guy get?

Meroko left the party sometime after midnight to catch the last bus to take her home. She said goodbye to Takuto who could not leave quite yet – technically, he was at work, though his manager would not very glad about the way he was hiding in the third floor. She wished him luck with his new album and he said he would be hoping to see her in the front row in his next concert. Everything was just perfect.

Next morning could have been perfect as well. Thanks to doing the evening shift, she was able to sleep in and have nothing but pleasant dreams. When she eventually did get up, she went to empty her purse in order to repack her things into her work bag. She turned the red purse upside down, letting the contents fall unceremoniously on her unmade bed. There were her keys, her nearly empty wallet, her favourite lip gloss, a small hairbrush, the map to take her to the club...but one object was missing. Meroko frowned. She could swear she hadn't taken her cell phone out of the purse the previous night. But then again, she could always be wrong.

An hour later Meroko was starting to lose her cheerful mood. She was getting hungry, her apartment was a complete mess and her beloved cell was nowhere to be found. It had been a gift from Izumi – but that wasn't why it was important! It was her _only_ phone and she was quite fond of it. It was pink and shaped so that it looked a bit like a rabbit's head. People often told Meroko she herself resembled a rabbit. A boy in her class in high school had even mentioned she would make a good bunny girl. Well, a warm greeting from her platform boots had been the end of _that_ sort of talk...

"Where can it _be_?" she huffed aloud, extremely frustrated. She plopped down on the floor of her bedroom, exhausted from all the searching. What if someone had stolen her cell phone? She could always disable her number from making any calls, but that meant she still had to buy a new phone. And it was disgusting to think someone could be out there, browsing her personal messages and call history. In any case, before doing anything else she would have to be absolutely sure the phone was not in her apartment. Meroko changed her pyjamas into something more respectable, brushed her hair and headed to the corridor. She rang the doorbell of her closest neighbour, an elderly lady called Mrs. Asakura. She was sure to be at home during daytime and indeed, a small, crouching figure emerged from behind the door.

"Miss Yui, is it?"

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Asakura," Meroko bowed quickly, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't seem to find my mobile phone. Can I please make a call from your phone? If my cell is inside my apartment, I should hear it ringing." Mrs. Asakura laughed and told Meroko to come inside.

"You young folks have trouble keeping track of all your gadgets, eh? I never have to look for _my _phone, that's for sure! And it doesn't run out of battery, either," she said, patting the black and white landline phone on a table. It looked like it had had more time to earn its place in the household than Meroko had even lived. Mrs. Asakura sat down next to the phone and lifted the receiver.

"Let's hear your number, then," she said and Meroko recited her phone number digit by digit, watching the older woman press her forefinger on each of the worn buttons according to Meroko's words. Finally she nodded to Meroko to signal that the call was connecting. Meroko went back to her apartment, stood in the middle of her small living room and listened. She heard nothing.

Incorrect. She heard someone flushing the toilet one floor below. But there was not a sound that would help her locate her cell phone. Meroko sighed.

"I guess it's really been stolen..."

Feeling crestfallen, she returned to the corridor to tell Mrs. Asakura that she could put the receiver down. She had left the door slightly open so she didn't need to ring the bell anymore. Just as Meroko's hand was reaching for the handle of the door, she heard Mrs. Asakura's voice, speaking to someone but not to her. She was puzzled. Had someone entered the apartment and started a conversation with the old lady in the short while Meroko had been away? It was unlikely. But Mrs. Asakura was clearly talking with somebody whose voice could not be heard –

The phone.

Meroko entered the apartment and saw Mrs. Asakura holding the receiver to her ear, turning her head to look at Meroko as she spoke.

"Me? No, I'm her neighbour...oh, there she is now. One moment, if you will," the woman pressed her hand against the receiver and grinned at Meroko with her wrinkled smile reaching to her twinkling eyes, "Someone picked up the phone. Sounds like a dashing young man to me," she said in a hushed voice. For reasons Meroko didn't want to investigate, Izumi's face flashed in her mind. She shivered and shook the image away.

"_It couldn't be him. Why would he have my phone in the first place..."_

Meroko took the receiver with some suspicion and spoke timidly to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's me. I'm glad you called," the voice on the other side said. Meroko gasped.

"Takuto?"

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><p><strong>AN: In a way, this story is very unlike me...**

**Well, that was the first bit. I'm planning to update weekly.**** I have most of the stuff written all the way until chapter 8, which is starting to be the beginning of the end already... But there's always some revision to be done.**

**Just one more thing. Though I was inspired by Utada's song, I didn't write the story to match it. It's actually a bit different. But I did decide to give some credit to it, so all the names of the chapters are bits of the lyrics.**

**I think it's more or less obvious that I'd love to hear from you...praise and sensible criticism make me happy, flaming will hurt you more than it will me.**

**Until next week! (I ramble to much.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't know why the edit comman did't work last time. Of course I meant Tuesday, not Thursday. Grr. Well, it's better this way around.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 : (Honey,) I've got your ringtone on my Blackberry<strong>

"Takuto? Is- is that you?" Meroko asked as thoughts whirred around in her head. Why did Takuto have her cell phone? Why was he answering it? What had he thought of when he realized it belonged to Meroko? Had noticed that the ringtone was his latest single and that the screensaver was a picture of his face?

"Yeah, it's me," Takuto's voice returned her back to the current moment, "You'd forgotten your cell to the club. It was on the sofa you sat on," he explained. "Too bad I only noticed when you'd already gone. I figured I could take the phone with me and call someone in your list to find out how I could bring it back to you, but...this is easier, I guess."

"Oh," Meroko said. "It must've fallen out of my purse at some point. I didn't notice at all."

"That's probably it," Takuto agreed, and Meroko heard the sound of a starting car. It sounded like he was outside, but somewhere were there wasn't much traffic. He was speaking again.

"So, can you tell me someplace I could come to drop your cell? Your workplace or something?"

"No, no," Meroko objected, suddenly remembering that Mrs. Asakura was there, too, looking at her knowingly, "you don't have to go that far, really. It's my fault you have the phone in the first place. I can come get it from you today, if it's okay. Where are you now?"

"I'm at SEED's, the building near the bridge. I have a meeting here, then lunch at 2 a' clock. Can you come then?"

"Sure, it's not that far," Meroko said quickly, doing the math in her head. She had to be at work at 3 P.M. sharp. The SEED building was on the other side of the city, but if she had luck with the buses, she would make it. She decided to overlook the fact that she almost never had luck with any means of transportation.

"Good. I'll be waiting for you in the lobby. Just walk straight through the main entrance, you'll see me there."

"Right. Thanks and...bye," Meroko said nodding. She heard Takuto hang up and slowly put the receiver back to its rightful place. Then she turned to Mrs. Asakura.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't expect anyone to answer the phone."

"It's quite alright," the old woman said, still smiling like she knew a little more than she ought to, "You know where to get your phone now, don't you? So it was worth an extra call to my bill. Well, was he a _friend _of yours?"

"Not really," Meroko said, unsure how to react to the way Mrs. Asakura called Takuto her _friend_, "I only met him last night. But I have _heard_ about him. He's Takuto Kira, the singer."

"Hmm, I see, I see," Mrs. Asakura said. "Well, you had better be going, isn't that right?" she informed Meroko, pointing at the clock hanging on the wall. It was almost 1 o'clock.

"That's right, I need to hurry! Thank you very much, Mrs. Asakura," she bowed again before dashing back to her own apartment. She packed her bag and quickly devoured a toast to silence her grumbling stomach. Then she applied some quick fix makeup, all the while lamenting that she didn't have enough time to think of something nicer to wear.

Finding the right building was not hard. You could see the company's huge logo from miles away, and the building itself was thirty stories tall. Meroko wandered to the biggest door she could find, reasoning that it had to be the main entrance. The glass doors slid gracefully from the way to let her in to the chillingly cold lobby. Apparently it was important for the company to show off its power by making their offices so cool on a hot summer's day. One of the receptionists – the one who wasn't chattering to the phone in a language Meroko didn't understand – looked at her and frowned a little suspiciously, as if she was wondering whether or not to call the security to take Meroko away...or maybe it was just in her head. Meroko scanned the lobby with her eyes and was relieved to see Takuto sitting in one of the tables with a paper cup in one hand, waving at her with the other. Meroko went to him with a smile, relishing the feeling of being treated by Takuto like she was a close friend of his.

"Here you go," Takuto said, handing her the pink rabbit-like object, "and don't worry: I didn't look at anything there," he added, quelling Meroko's earlier fear of having her personal business being probed at by a stranger. She wouldn't have minded so much if it was him, though...

"Thank you," she said again, "and sorry. This was so stupid of me." Takuto shook his head.

"It's alright, it happens. I lost my cell once, too, and it was a real pain to buy a new one and rewrite all the names and numbers. So, you're on your way to work?" he asked, taking a sip from his cup, which faintly smelled of coffee.

"That's right," Meroko nodded. "I guess...I should be going. Don't want to waste your lunch break," she cracked an apologetic smile as she took a step backwards toward the door. Takuto stood up and turned to leave to the opposite direction. They were going to go separate ways again. Without any promises, or anything else that actually meant something. Meroko had dreamt of meeting Takuto half her life. Her wish had already come true once, but she hadn't done anything about it. Now Fate had given her another chance. Takuto had found her cell phone, and he had cared enough to return it to her. Was she really going to let another chance to get closer to the idol of her life? There might not be a third time – Fate wasn't that patient.

"Actually," she began and Takuto turned back to face her, looking mildly surprised. Meroko bit her lip, trying to think quickly. "I'd like to...meet you again. Not just in a concert or anything, if you know what I mean. It's okay if you don't want to, I understand, but..."

"Why not?"

"Huh?" That was _way_ too quick!

"I had fun talking with you last night. I wouldn't mind doing it again," Takuto said, shrugging.

"Really? I had fun, too. So...we'll see again?"

"Can you give me your number?"

Takuto took his own phone from his pocket – a blue modern-looking device with a cat mascot attached to it, she noticed gleefully – and Meroko shared her phone number for the second time that day. Takuto pressed on the call button and her pink cell burst out singing in Takuto's voice. She blushed as she silenced it and saved the number.

"I like your ringtone," Takuto joked. Meroko cleared her throat in an attempt to save face.

"Okay. _Now_ I've really got to go, or my boss will put a chain on me and never let me out," she said and started to make for the door.

"Sounds dangerous. Let's hope you'll manage to escape," Takuto nodded and finished his coffee. Meroko gave the receptionist, who was now looking somewhat irritated, a triumphant glance and left the building, immensely pleased with her life at that moment. She had Takuto Kira's cell phone number. He had promised to meet her again. Now she could say she _knew Takuto Kira personally_.

She missed the bus and was late for work, but even as she was cleaning up after the store had closed, she couldn't help humming to herself – the song was Route L's, of course.

"_I had a good feeling about today in the morning",_ she thought to herself, _"but this is just amazing. Maybe Mrs. Asakura can see to the future, seeing as she looked at me like that?"_

Meroko went to her locker and switched her phone from silent settings to regular. She smiled at the picture on the screen and blew it a kiss.

"I love you Takuto," she whispered, unaware that Takuto's phone rang in his room at the same moment, miles away from her. It rang for a long time before he picked it up, but he didn't say anything. He didn't need to, as the person who had made the call spoke for him.

"Takuto, why do you always take so long to pick up?" a female voice complained.

"I was in another room," Takuto lied. Actually he'd been sitting right next to the device. The woman accepted this explanation.

"So where'd you go from the party last night? No one knew where you were. I looked for you a long time!"

"I thought you were busy so I didn't want to bother you," Takuto said blankly.

"Whaat, don't be silly, Takuto! You wouldn't bother me, I _love_ you and you know that,"the woman said laughing. Takuto could hear the tune of a popular TV show from the other side.

"Did you have something to say? I was just going to go to bed," he told the woman. She paused.

"Well...no, I just wanted to know how you're doing. That's not a crime, is it?" she huffed, sounding a little offended.

"No it's not. I'm fine, just a little tired. I'll give you a call some other day."

"Fine, be that way," the woman sighed, "Good night, Takuto."

"Good night...Hikari," Takuto said, but she had already hung up. Takuto listlessly tossed the cell phone towards his bag, cursing under his breath when he missed his target by a few inches.

* * *

><p>Four short days later Meroko was walking on the street in yet another part of her hometown she barely knew. She should start going out a bit more. She was young, for goodness' sake, and she couldn't waste her life on just going from her home to work and back. But then again, meeting Takuto was already changing that.<p>

'_He actually called me this quickly.'_

The thought brought a smile to her lips. It was just a meeting in a café because he had some free time before he had to be somewhere nearby, but still, Takuto had gone through the effort to call her and ask if she wanted to hang out. It couldn't be just her imagination anymore, could it? Maybe he really was interested in her!

'_This time, for sure...everything will be perfect!' _Meroko told herself as she turned around the corner and her eyes registered the name of the café where Takuto was supposed to meet her. It was a small, cosy place called _Jonathan's_. Its mascot was a strange ghost with cunning eyes and a top hat. It was a bit weird, but somehow it suited the place perfectly.

When Meroko stepped inside, she was greeted by a tall, handsome man with long, white hair. Well, perhaps the word "greet" wasn't the best choice – but the man nodded slightly when Meroko met his gaze. The eyes of the man were somehow similar to those of the ghost, and they followed her all the way from the door to a free table next to the window. Actually most of the tables were free – the only customers were a solitary businessman reading a newspaper, a middle-aged woman with several shopping bags next to her, and a young couple chatting quietly. Meroko liked the calming ambiance of the café and wished there was a place like this closer to her home.

Meroko didn't see the waitress coming before she was standing right next to her. The woman was similar to the white-haired man in that she seemed too ethereal to be of this world. She had deep, gray-blue eyes and there was an odd foggy aura about her. Meroko resisted the urge to lean back as the waitress asked her what she would be getting.

"I'd like...um, a Vanilla latte, please!"

"Very well," said the waitress and floated back behind the counter just as quietly as she had arrived, handing her notebook wordlessly to the white-haired man. He, in turn, disappeared to what Meroko believed to be the kitchen of the café. On second thought, maybe it was good that the strange café wasn't that close to her apartment after all.

Meroko was halfway through her drink when Takuto arrived. He ordered an iced tea. Meroko watched the waitress drift away and again the white-haired man went to make the drink. Was that really how those two handled a business?

"Do you come here often?" she asked Takuto, wrenching her attention off of the eccentric pair.

"Well yeah, every now and then," he replied, "It's peaceful here, and the drinks are good. Jonathan's not the talkative type, but he knows his business."

"So his name is Jonathan?" Meroko asked, wondering if the man was a foreigner. Takuto shrugged.

"That's the only name he's ever given me and that's what I call him." He stirred the contents of his glass absently as he continued.

"After I was discharged from the hospital, I had to come back for check-ups. It's nearby, so this was a convenient place to come and have a breather in – better than the hospital cafeteria, at least."

"You were in a hospital?" Meroko asked worriedly. She had never heard of Takuto being injured in any way or coming down with anything more serious than a regular cold.

"Oh...right. Of course you wouldn't know. Keiichi and me, we decided that we should keep it under the wraps. Wonder why'd I start talking about it, in the first place..."

Meroko anxiously watched Takuto stare the tablecloth as if it could somehow let him go back in time and take back his words a few moments ago.

"It's...that bad?"

"More like it _was_. Now I'm completely fine... So you can stop looking at me like I might keel over any second now."

"What? No, I...wasn't thinking that," Meroko laughed nervously

'_He doesn't want to talk about it'_, she chastised herself. She shouldn't pressure him. It would only make him feel uncomfortable. _'It doesn't bother me. Not at all. Okay...I've got to think of something else to talk about...hmm...hmm...'_

"...It's bothering you, isn't it?" he gave a defeated sigh. She was so easy to read – her eyes were like a television screen projecting all that went through her head. Right now she was looking him guiltily.

"Bother? Me? No, that's not what –"

"I had a tumour in my throat."

Meroko's mouth was left hanging open mid-sentence and she stared at Takuto, who observed her like a gambler who has just told his opponent he has a miserable hand with nonexistent chances of winning.

"There. I said it. But I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anyone. If it gets to the press, they'll make such a big deal out of it and I'll never be able to do anything without people remembering it. I don't want anyone's pity."

Meroko closed her mouth and looked at Takuto, surprised at how calm she felt at hearing the news.

"So that's why you disappeared after Route L?"

"Yeah. Everyone was already on the edge because of Aoi's accident and all... I guess we all needed some time to think about what we want to do with the rest of our lives. In the end, Keiichi became a full-time doctor and I decided I want to sing again. And, I haven't regretted that decision, not even once," he said with a boyish grin. Meroko's heart skipped a beat.

They stayed for a while, chatting light-heartedly. When it was time for Takuto to go, Meroko left together with him to see him off before taking the bus home.

As soon as the two had walked out of sight, a new customer entered the now completely empty café. He went straight to the counter, where Jonathan was cleaning glasses.

"I'll have your strongest coffee," the man said, and the golden glow of his eyes was just as hard and metallic as the silvery steel of Jonathan's irises, "and you'll tell me what you know about the man who left with the pink-haired lady just now. Do we have a deal?"

Jonathan placed the glass he had been holding to the counter and left the room without a word. The waitress, who hadn't moved even an inch from her post next to the counter after bringing Takuto's ice tea, now smiled ever so slightly at the golden-eyed man.

"Your order will be delivered momentarily."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That was it this week. Somewhat shorter, but the development might be even more fast-paced...or maybe not. You can be the judge of that ;)**

**Next week: unexpected encounters. Meanwhile, you can leave me a review and call it a birthday gift (I'm turning 19 this week!) Many thanks for neko-Taku-chan, who already did!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: The third chapter is here. Yay!**

**When I started working on this story again, I was in desperate need of a new source of inspiration (that is, music that keeps me writing). At the time, I had been wanting to listen to a lovely Finnish singer called Maija Vilkkumaa. When I was 12-14, I liked her a lot but didn't have any of her albums. I borrowed them from a friend of mine, for a couple of weeks at a time (not everybody had MP3 players or iPods back then...) So I went to the library the other day and borrowed 7 albums. And...that's more or less how this story got itself going. There are a lot of songs that had their effect on my writing...**

**A word on the producer: he's sort-of-but-not-quite the producer guy we see in the anime. For some reason I just couldn't see someone like that Mitsuru Kijou (I wonder if that even was his name...)guy in this story...Anyway, I doubt he's that important.**

* * *

><p><strong>C<strong>**hapter 3: I gotta play cool**

"_And that's why I'll stand by your side..."_

Meroko sang a classic Route L ballad as she skilfully wrapped a CD into a nice black-and-white paper. She was quite good at gift-wrapping thanks to the ample amount of practise she had had back in her part-time job at a souvenir store. Otherwise, her artisanal talents were nothing to boast about.

"_To the eeend of everything..._"

The CD was a rarity by a band Takuto liked. He had mentioned he didn't have this particular album though he had been looking for it and Meroko had stumbled upon it at a second-hand shop the other day. It was just perfect for the occasion: the anniversary of Takuto's first single release.

Meroko had everything planned out for the day. She couldn't help smiling at herself as she imagined the day's evening. Now, if only she could get Takuto to join her…

That specific day, Takuto was supposedly recording new songs at SEED's main studio. Meroko was going to wait for him to finish and then surprise him with the present. As she entered the cool lobby, now much more confident than the first time, she remembered that less than two weeks ago she would not have even dreamed of being able to give the CD to Takuto personally. Life sure was a funny thing…

"Excuse me, but...could you please help me?"

Meroko jolted and turned around, meeting the eyes of a girl who was looking at her with a pleading expression. It was hard to guess the girl's age: she had a petite body and a round, even somewhat childish face framed by long, dark hair...but her eyes were the eyes of someone who has gone through more than most.

"Um...sure, if I just can. What do you need?" Meroko nodded, surprised.

"I'm supposed to have a recording session here somewhere, but...I think I'm a bit lost. I don't even know if I'm in the right building," the girl said with a nervous smile.

"Sorry, but I'm a stranger here myself," Meroko answered apologetically and pressed the lift call button. "I just came to see a friend of mine."

"I see," the girl said with a crestfallen face. Meroko pursed her lips, unable to help feeling sorry for the girl. She had to try and help somehow...

"Uh...which room are you supposed to find again?"

"It's 207A, but..."

"207A? That's the one I'm looking for, too! If we team up, we'll find it for sure," Meroko beamed as the doors of the lift slid open. The two girls headed inside.

"So you're recording? What sort of music do you make?" Meroko asked. The girl's face didn't seem familiar to her at all, so she couldn't be that well known – at least not yet.

"Ah, I...don't know how to describe it. It'll be my first single, and I just wanted to sing something that mattered to me. Actually, it's a song my father wrote," she added in a slightly more timid voice.

"Your father's in the show business? That's amazing! I wish _my _father was like that," Meroko laughed, trying to imagine her stiff-as-can-be father writing anything besides articles foreseeing the financial developments in the following quarter. "He and mother made me take piano lessons ages ago, but I didn't have the patience to practise so the piano was mostly gathering dust – still is, I guess," Meroko briefly wondered if anything had changed back at home. "But if I had had some Route L songs to play instead of those boring classical pieces, I might actually have learned, don't you think?"

"Route L? But..."

"Hey, this is our stop. Come on, let's look for the right door."

The girl was called Mitsuki, and she was sixteen years old. She had just auditioned for a contract with Village Pro productions, which was a part of SEED.

"So you're the mysterious young talent Takuto was talking about..."

"Takuto? Do you mean..."

"Indeed I do. There are no others by that name in my life," Meroko winked at the younger girl playfully, feeling proud for being able to boast about her connections for once. "In fact, if I am not mistaken, at this very moment he should be...behind THIS door!" she pointed a finger at the light blue wooden door. The letters in its upper right corner said 207A. Mitsuki's face brightened and her mouth formed a little "O" when she realized what Meroko meant.

"I'm going to record in the same studio as Takuto Kira?"

"That's what it looks like. Doesn't it make you all tingly? You'll be breathing the very air that he –oumph!"

Meroko had been so absorbed by her animated explanation that she hadn't noticed the door swinging open and hitting her in the nose. She fell to her rear covering her face with her hands. Mitsuki kneeled next to her.

"Meroko! Are you alright?"

"Ow-ow-ow-ow... I think I am. Just wasn't expecting...that."

"Why were you hiding behind the door in the first place? Unauthorised people shouldn't wander around here," was the answer of the middle-aged man wearing a suit who had opened the door and now stood in the doorway looking irritated. Meroko sniffed haughtily.

"I am not wandering, I am _escorting__!_ Tell him, Mitsuki!" Mitsuki's face suggested she would gladly have been left out of the conversation, but the man seemed to recognize her.

"Mitsuki...Mitsuki Kouyama, isn't that right?" the man confirmed and Mitsuki nodded.

"I also go by Full Moon. I'm sorry for causing you trouble, but Meroko really did help me find my way here..."

"Never mind," said the man and waved his hand to indicate that he was done with the topic, "Come on in, we're all done here for today. Your manager said we could start without her. It was something about a meeting that just keeps dragging on."

At that moment, Takuto emerged from inside the room, followed by some staff members. He stopped on his tracks when he saw Mitsuki and Meroko sitting on the floor, the latter rubbing her sore nose and the former trying to perform something reminiscent of a respecting bow to the gruff man hovering high above her.

"...What's all this?"

"Nothing you should worry about. Everyone, get ready for Full Moon's session! I'll be back in five," he said and started walking towards the break room. Mitsuki stood up and walked to the room to be greeted by the staff, but not before glancing once more to the hallway, where Takuto was now left alone with Meroko, who also had managed to get back up to her feet by this time.

"Uh...you all right?" Takuto offered cautiously.

"Oh, perfectly fine. It takes more than one door to get me down! But I _would_ enjoy giving Mr. Sunshine there a piece of my mind..."

"The producer's like that sometimes. He and I have pretty different views of a lot of things so it doesn't take much to rub him the wrong way after a session like today. So...what _did_ you come for?"

Meroko grinned deviously and took the flawlessly wrapped box out of her purse, relieved that it hadn't taken any damage from the door incident.

"Ta-dah! Congratulations on the anniversary of your debut single. It's been exactly seven years."

"It was today? I had no idea," Takuto said, nonplussed, and accepted the gift.

"What do you mean 'no idea'? You really didn't remember at all?"

"Hey, I'm going full speed ahead every day!" he countered with a cocky grin, "I don't have time to think about what I've done years ago."

"Then you can always come to me when you want to remember something that happened long ago," Meroko said and her tone of voice became more tender, "I'll always remember."

Inside her mind, Meroko was in victory dance mode. Things were going even better than she had anticipated. And now for the final step...

"But that's not the only thing I came for! Are you off tonight?"

"As far as I know. Why?"

"It's my day off, so...would you like to come to my place to have dinner? We could celebrate your career as a musician! Is there something special you'd like to have?"

"Um...yeah, I can come. And no, I eat pretty much anything. Where do you live?"

Meroko gave him the directions she had written before leaving home, having thought ahead for once. Takuto took it with the hand that was not holding the present and skimmed them through.

"I'll be there around seven. That alright?"

"It's perfect! I'll have everything ready by then. Oh, and just call me if you can't find the place or if something comes up, okay? I'll be on my way now. See you tonight! Bye!"

Takuto waved Meroko goodbye and watched her walk towards the lift. When she had disappeared of sight, he looked at the present and the piece of paper in his hands and shook his head at her enthusiasm, yet with a smile on his face.

He realized he was actually looking forward to the evening.

"Well aren't _you_ hungry," exclaimed Mrs. Asakura when she came across Meroko in the stairs. The pink-haired girl was heaving a large shopping bag full of groceries towards her apartment and put her things down to catch her breath.

"No, this is for, um...a friend of mine is coming to visit for dinner tonight. I usually don't buy this much."

"I see. Is it the handsome young man from the other day?"

"Y-yes, it is," Meroko said, still feeling a bit embarrassed when she saw the curious twinkle in the old lady's eye, "Thank you again for your help earlier. It's all thanks to you that I was able to meet up with him."

"Oh, don't mention it. I'm just a lone, old woman who is only happy to help whenever she can."

When Meroko said goodbye and went to her apartment, Mrs. Asakura walked slowly outside and mumbled to herself:

"Youth is a wonderful time, indeed. First, she got the phone call from that musician who was in television some time ago – and then, that other lad who was looking for Miss Yui... I'm happy he could finally get in touch with her. He was such a polite young man..."

* * *

><p>"Heey, Takuto!"<p>

Takuto felt his eyebrow twitch involuntarily when he registered the voice from behind him. He paused the demo song he had been listening and took off his earphones with some reluctance.

"I heard from Matsuda you'd be in here," Hikari said and sat next to him. He could feel a fruity scent permeate from her long, blond hair. She wasn't using her usual product today. That one smelled of flowers. "He's throwing a huge party tonight. What time do you think we should go?"

Takuto inwardly shook his head at her choice of question. He didn't look at Hikari when he answered, filling in the dots of the musical notes he had written earlier as he spoke.

"Sorry, but I'm busy tonight."

"What does that mean?"

"It means what it sounds like. I can't come to the party, I'm busy."

"With what?" She was starting to get curious.

"Why do I have to tell you what I am going to do?"

"Why is it such a big secret? Are you two-timing me or something?"

Well, wasn't she bold to accuse him of having an affair. Still, why not?

"Not really. Just meeting a friend."

"A female friend, you mean?"

"Does it make a difference?"

"So it is a girl. I knew it!"

Takuto didn't answer. Some twenty seconds of uncomfortable silence ticked away and Hikari spoke again, this time in a quieter voice.

"Who is she?"

"You don't know her."

"Is she from SEED? Is she a musician?"

"No."

"So she's from some other agency?"

"Not really."

"So who, then?"

"Why does it matter?"

"_Tell me!_"

Finally Takuto raised his eyes from his notebook and looked Hikari in the eyes. She met his gaze and her strong, determinant eyes took him by surprise. He had never seen her like this – Hikari wasn't her teasing, coquettish usual self at all. She was completely focused at him, and it seemed ironic to him that it could be the first time she seemed genuinely interested in something that he did.

"I met Meroko at the SEED party. She likes Route L and wanted to meet me, if just once."

"But if she's not in showbiz..."

"She's not. She said something about winning a draw –"

"Takuto, you're not...dating a fan?" Hikari sounded shocked.

"And if I was, what would be wrong with that?"

"_What? _No no no...slow down. Are you serious? You just picked someone off the street?"

"Actually I said we met at the party, and..."

"It doesn't matter! The higher-ups aren't going to like this," Hikari cast a dark look at the ceiling, as if she could feel the looming aura from the company's president's office several floors above them.

"It's none of their business," Takuto shrugged.

"Really? Why don't you tell your producer about this freedom ideology of yours? I bet he'd love to hear about it."

Takuto ignored the sarcasm in her voice and pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. Hikari slumped at her seat – which was a rare thing for her to do – and crossed her arms upon her chest.

"In any case, I still think you shouldn't be with her."

"And I still don't see the problem here. Why is it such a big deal?"

"Because she's not from _this_ world. No matter how you look at it, she's an outsider. Think about it. There are thousands of girls like her who scream your name in concerts almost every weekend, and you single her out, without even knowing what she's thinking."

"What do you mean, 'what she's thinking'?"

"You're _celebrity_. There are people who would do pretty much anything to be seen with you and be your best buddy. What you do isn't really my business, but you should check her background a bit or something." Hikari's glossy lips curved into a wry smile. "Now that I think about it, I bet she has a boyfriend already! She's just spending time with you so that she can brag to all her friends that she knows you. Before you know, she'll be pestering you for free entries to your concerts and fan products that she'll sell somewhere to get quick cash."

"You sure know a lot about those things, don't you? Maybe you're speaking from experience!"

"What –"

Takuto felt strange satisfaction at seeing his former crush's smile fade and change into a frown. He had planned to annoy Hikari by acting like he didn't care at all, but something about her attitude made his earlier plans fly out of the window.

"I saw you in the party, okay? I'd wondered why you didn't call me after the concert but of course I should've guessed you had _company_. Why don't you ask him to go with you to Matsuda's place?"

Hikari didn't answer. She sniffed and stared to the side. The only thing about her that showed her true emotions were her ears, which changed several shades redder. Takuto recognized the trait and couldn't help chuckling. He had hit the jackpot without even trying.

"You already did, didn't you? But he had other plans...so you came to me?"

No answer.

When she didn't seem to take the hint and leave the room, he did so instead. He could return to take his things later. For now, he just walked out of the door, leaving her with the echo of his words:

"Next time, you can save yourself the trouble of asking me to go anywhere."

Later that afternoon, when Takuto's work for the day was done, he still felt irritated. He was angry at Hikari for lecturing him, but he couldn't silence the small voice inside his head which reminded him that many of the things she had just put into words were things that Takuto himself had been thinking, without realizing it.

Takuto was just going to cross the street when he heard a voice from a small alley on his right.

"You're Takuto Kira, aren't you?"

Takuto turned towards the voice and noticed a man leaning to the wall. He was wearing mostly black, the only colourful spot being the yellow shirt that flashed from under his jacket. His facial expression was a little unnerving: he seemed to be smiling, but it was not a normal, open smile. It was the smile that suggested he knew more than he should.

"I am," Takuto answered simply. There was something about the man that didn't sit well with him. He didn't have a camera so he probably was not paparazzi. He might be a fan, but Takuto got the feeling that was not the case.

"Good," the man said and moved away from the wall, taking a step towards Takuto. The singer stood immobile while keeping his eyes on the other man, who continued speaking.

"My name is Izumi Lio...and I came to talk to you about Meroko Yui."

Takuto was not sure what would be the best way to react. If the man was a reporter from one of those tabloids, he might be trying to add Meroko to the long list of Takuto Kira's supposed girlfriends, and Takuto didn't want to involve her in something like that. In any case, it was probably better to try and keep Meroko out of the conversation.

"Either name doesn't ring a bell."

"I wish that was true, but unfortunately I know it isn't. You don't have to try to pretend you don't know her – actually, I want to warn you about her."

"_Warn_ me?" Takuto frowned. This was getting ridiculous. Why did everyone keep telling him what he should do with his personal life?

"That's right. It's just a friendly piece of advice, but I mean it: you should get away from her before you get yourself hurt."

Izumi spoke the ominous words with a completely straight face and grave tone of voice, his earlier smile nowhere in sight. Like he was really expecting to be taken seriously. Takuto didn't know if he should laugh or be angry.

"And what's so dangerous about her?" he asked. "I think I'm old enough to decide for myself who spend time with. We're just friends who hang out together."

"You say you're 'just friends'," the blond said quietly, "but don't you think she wants to be something _more_?"

Takuto could hardly deny it. All the gifts, the sweet words, Meroko's smiles and the way she behaved when she was with him, not to mention countless emotional fan letters he had got from her over the years... He had not corrected Hikari when she had assumed he was dating Meroko, but in reality, he never had given much thought to the actual nature of their relationship.

Izumi smiled when Takuto didn't say anything, "I thought so. So she really is doing it again."

_Again?_ Takuto almost blurted out the question, but he settled with deepening his frown. He did not like the way the mysterious visitor seemed to be controlling the conversation. Izumi was not expecting an answer, though.

"Me-chan is the kind of girl who lives on loving someone. She needs that feeling to function properly. And when she has set her eyes to someone, she can go to any lengths to claim the love she wants. This is where you come to the picture. She's in love with you."

Now Takuto understood even less where Izumi was getting at. He was a bit surprised to hear from another man that someone loved him, but was it not usually considered a good thing? What was there to be so worried about?

Izumi answered the question Takuto had not even asked aloud: "The problem is that Me-chan's love is too much for most to take. It's all-consuming, and it can swallow you whole if you don't know how to handle it."

"And _you_ probably know all about it," Takuto spat. He had known from the beginning that he did not like Izumi, but the feeling was growing stronger every second. His catlike, glowing eyes, his delicate features, and especially his cunning but light, almost flippant voice when he said:

"Indeed. She and I are an item, after all."

Had Meroko not said she was done with her boyfriend? Not that Takuto had cared at the time – his own relationship with Hikari was so complicated he could hardly preach to anyone about love – but he could not help feeling irritated when he thought of Izumi and Meroko together.

"You _were_, you meant to say," deciding to believe it for the time being.

"That's what she'd say if you asked her about it. She's trying to pretend like I never existed, but in reality, she can't forget. Probably she hasn't even deleted my number from her cell phone – and speaking of the phone, I wonder if she really forgot it by accident? Wasn't that a bit too convenient?"

'_How the hell does he know about that?' _Takuto raged in his mind, but Izumi paid him no mind.

"I bought her that phone so that we could keep in touch more effectively...it's ironic that she used it to meet another guy, whether it was on purpose or not. Well, I guess, knowing who she is, I should've known she'd come after you sooner or later. She's been your fan for longer than I can remember."

Izumi was beginning to walk away when Takuto regained his ability to speak.

"Who...whose side are you on, anyway?" If he really was together with Meroko...but the things he had said didn't sound like something that a caring boyfriend would say. Something was definitely off.

"Whose side? How rude. It's not like I'm telling you to never see her again... But if you don't want to get your fingers burnt, you shouldn't get too close to the fire, don't you think...Tak-kun?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: All the main characters are now on the field. Um...let the battle begin?**

**I don't know what to make of all this. That, and the site is acting up on me again. So I'll just stop for now. Until next week, and Happy New Year! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm more than a week late...well, if justifies anything, this story is not the only thing I've been shamelessly neglecting for the past few days. After a three-week Christmas holiday, the new semester struck me at full force. The new courses are ...challenging. But they inspire me a lot (since many of them have to do with literature, and stuff like that). So let's hope I'll manage to improve my writing some, and not get crushed in the process.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4: Your words ring through m<strong>**e**

Takuto stood at Meroko's apartment door, staring at the doorbell. He had considered turning back several times on his way to her house. He could just send her a message saying he did have to work after all. She wouldn't doubt him.

The conversations of the day – first with Hikari and then with Izumi, who claimed to be Meroko's boyfriend – had made Takuto's earlier good mood dissolve completely, and left him feeling just tired and unsure of what he really wanted to do. Meroko simply didn't strike him as the kind of a person who would try to get attention by lying and manipulating people. But how could he ever be sure? He didn't need any more emotional disasters in his life. He just wanted to make music.

It was 6:59 P.M. Takuto stared at the glowing light from his cell phone and wondered if he should just leave. Why was he forcing himself to go when it made him so uncomfortable? He remembered the CD that Meroko had given him. He had opened the present soon after Meroko had left and listened to it in his car during his lunch break. She would be disappointed if he cancelled at the last minute...

The digits on the phone's clock switched to indicate that it was exactly seven in the evening and Takuto, whose hand had been hovering near the doorbell, pressed the button out of reflex. He had been taught to always be on time, no matter what the occasion. He cursed under his breath when the doorbell rang inside the apartment. Now it was too late to turn back.

He heard a metallic clank, probably from the kitchen, and hurried footsteps. The door swung open and Takuto hoped he didn't look as gloomy as he felt. Meroko was positively glowing, at least. She was wearing a black dress with pink decorations that matched her hair, which was done more elaborately than usual. Takuto noticed for the first time that her ears were pierced.

"Welcome, Takuto! You're really punctual, aren't you. Come in, come in. The living room's that way, go and have a seat. I'll be there in a minute."

Takuto nodded and mumbled a thank you as Meroko disappeared to the left, where the earlier sound of metal had come from. He went to the opposite direction and found himself in a small but cosy living room. The shelves were full of little decorative elements such as tiny statuettes, candles of all shapes and sizes and trinkets beyond Takuto's imagination. None of them seemed to be very valuable but with so many of them together, the collection was impressive. There was a small TV in the corner and Takuto sat on the red sofa opposite to it. The sofa was old and it sank him much deeper than he had expected. Finding a comfortable position, Takuto observed his surroundings a bit more. He noticed a closed door next to the TV stand and wondered if it led to Meroko's bedroom. Then his eyes wandered to a small table in front of the sofa. It was nearly empty (but if the shelves were anything to go by, it had just been emptied quickly to make the apartment look cleaner) – the only things on it were a single, lit candle...and a certain pink cell phone that Takuto knew better than the rest of the things in the house.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting!"

Meroko sailed in carrying an oval-shaped tray filled with sliced vegetables and fried snacks.

"My kitchen's a bit too cramped for two so we'll just have to eat over here," Meroko explained. "The main course is ready in just fifteen more minutes in the oven. Until then, help yourself on these!"

Takuto smiled politely and took one of the snack pieces. It was actually quite delicious and he mentioned that to Meroko as well.

"Oh, that's good. I haven't made them for a long time and I was wondering if I had gotten a bit rusty."

They munched on the appetizers for a moment without saying anything. Takuto realized he was hungrier than he had thought. Meroko finished her helping and took a napkin to clean her fingers.

"So, how was recording? Mr. Sunshine didn't bother you too much?"

"I'm used to him," Takuto shrugged and smiled at the producer's new nickname. "But actually, it was great. I've wanted to work with the new material for some time now, so it feels good to finally see it start taking shape. I'm even more fired up now than with the previous album."

"When are you planning to release it?"

"Not until next year, at least. It'd be great to do those new songs live next summer, though, but I'll just have to wait and see how long it takes to complete the album, first."

"Quality takes time, doesn't it? Fans like me just keep demanding new stuff without really understanding anything about the whole process..."

"But it's the people who listen to the music I make who make it all possible," Takuto argued. "Though I write my music mostly for myself...and a few people close to me...I can't say it doesn't feel good when people stand in line in front of shops, wanting to buy _my_ album out of all the albums in the world."

"Mm-hm. It must be amazing."

Again, a few moments passed quietly. Takuto looked at the flame of the candle, the echo of his own words still in his ears. He was surprised he had talked so much. He did have a habit of getting carried away when it came to music, though – that and the delicious food had cheered him up. He could feel the mouth-watering scent of the main course in the oven start spreading into the room.

"Hey, Takuto... Would you tell me about the song you were recording today? What kind of a song is it? Maybe...sing for me a bit?"

Takuto turned to look at Meroko's expectant, almost mischievous smile, when his face fell. The remnants of candlelight in his eyes turned pink to blond and Hikari's face flashed in his mind.

'_Before you know, she'll be pestering you for free entries to your concerts...'_

Takuto hadn't had time to formulate an answer when Meroko already looked away, having seen his expression.

"Ah, forget I asked. I figured you couldn't. It's still unreleased and all that. I, um...I'll go see if the food's ready," she said and stood up too quickly for it to be natural. It looked like she was running away from him. Takuto made a face, feeling like a jerk. It was completely normal for Meroko to be interested in his new songs, wasn't it? She had asked him for an entirely innocent request, but Hikari and Izumi's earlier comments on his friendship with Meroko were twisting even the simplest remarks into something dangerous. Maybe he was getting paranoid.

Thinking about Izumi made him remember the cell phone. It was still on the table.

'_She and I are an item, after all.'_

'_I bet she hasn't even deleted my number.'_

Takuto stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and huffed angrily, digging himself deeper into the sofa. Why was he even thinking about that? He wouldn'tlook at anyone's contact list. And even if Izumi's name really was there, why should Takuto care? He had asked Meroko to join him in the party at a whim after seeing Hikari with that guy, wanting to get something else to think about, and maybe – he hated to admit it – maybe just a bit to get back at the fickle model. After having a good time with her he had agreed to see her again. He did _not_ see her as a love interest. And technically, they _weren't _anything but just friends...

Takuto was glad to get something else to think about when Meroko returned with a steaming pan of lasagne. He offered to help her with the plates, but she said that she could handle it. They did maintain a conversation while eating, but it was only about meaningless topics.

Meroko emptied her plate before Takuto, and she excused herself saying that she was going to give the desserts a finishing touch. Takuto was left on his own once more, knowing full well that it could be the last time that evening. He stubbornly stared at his plate to avoid looking at the pink phone. This was exactly why that Izumi bastard had mentioned it in the first place! He had wanted to get Takuto thinking about it and the phone really had been in his mind all evening.

Why was it even bothering him so much?

Takuto heard Meroko open the freezer and close it. She could come back any minute now. Takuto muttered a rude word under his breath and grabbed the phone from the table. He tried to ignore Izumi's mocking smile in his mind as he browsed the list with sweaty fingers.

Maybe Izumi had just been bluffing.

Maybe there wasn't anyone by that name on the list.

Maybe he didn't even know Meroko at all (that sounded like wishful thinking, though).

There were only some twenty names on the list, less than most people had. Takuto had about eighty or so, but he had a lot of contacts through his work. Still, the fact that there were so few names on the list didn't help him to digest his discovery.

_Name: Izumi Sweetie 3_

It was so over the top Takuto might have laughed if the circumstances were different.

There was a picture attached to the number. In the picture, Meroko was smiling happily while a man, who unmistakably was the same Takuto had met in the afternoon, faced the camera with a mildly amused expression.

Takuto heard approaching footsteps so he quickly pressed the cancel button and returned the phone to where it had been earlier.

When he later thought of that evening, Takuto could never remember what the dessert had been or if he had liked it. He ate and left soon afterwards, saying he had to get up early next morning. Meroko said she understood but she seemed disappointed. It was only half past eight, after all.

* * *

><p>Meroko had been feeling blue for the past two weeks. Takuto had clearly been avoiding her ever since he had been to her apartment. Meroko still shuddered when she remembered that evening: the atmosphere had suddenly turned noticeably icy somewhere between the main course and dessert. Meroko had wracked her brain for the reason why it had happened at that specific point, to no avail. The food had been satisfactory in her opinion, and she couldn't recall having said anything that could have offended Takuto – save for the question about his new song that had made his smile falter. But why had he started sulking nearly an hour after if that was why he was angry?<p>

When a full fortnight had passed, Meroko had a weekday off again without anything to do. Not wanting to spend the entire day alone in her apartment, Meroko set out to take a walk. Eventually, she decided to go a little farther than the neighbourhood, and took a bus to the SEED building. She didn't know if Takuto even was there that day, but she wanted to take a chance. She went to the lobby and wondered what to do next. The receptionists would hardly tell her even if Takuto happened to be inside, and she couldn't just go knocking on every door to find him. Finally she settled on buying a bottle of soda from a vending machine and sitting down in the lobby to wait.

After a good twenty minutes of sitting and thinking, Meroko realized how silly it actually was. She must have looked pitiful waiting around like that. Even if Takuto actually did pass through the lobby, which wasn't a given at all, Meroko had no idea what she would say to him. Should she apologize, though she didn't know what exactly she had done wrong? What if it would only push Takuto farther away, making him think she was intruding on his life?

Meroko was pulled up from the dark depths of her pessimism by the sudden interference of an unlikely saviour.

"Meroko?"

The pink-haired girl looked up to see Mitsuki standing a few feet away, looking confused. She had just finished recording the final version of her single and had several hours of free time before the live radio show she was going to be interviewed in. The single would be out in a few days so she had plenty of PR work to do.

"What are you doing here?" she asked Meroko, who sighed and fiddled with the cap of her soda bottle.

"It's a long story..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Seeing the younger girl's sincere smile and considering she really had no guarantee that she had any chances of meeting Takuto there, Meroko stood up and said yes.

They left the SEED building and went to a nearby park. Summer was at its peak and sun was shining as it had done for weeks. The land was getting quite dry, which worried farmers and annoyed people with gardens, but most people in town couldn't get enough of the sun, making trips to beaches and spending as much time outside as they could. Mitsuki and Meroko managed to find an unoccupied bench in the shadow of a large magnolia tree. Meroko told Mitsuki everything from the letter from SEED Records to Takuto's strange behaviour during the past days.

"He never calls me and if I manage to get a hold of him and ask if we can meet, he says he's sorry but that he can't make it. I understand he's busy and that he has a life of his own, but...I hate it when he's no distant all of a sudden!"

Mitsuki frowned deep as she thought about Meroko's story and looked up at the clouds with her forefinger raised to her mouth. Meroko sighed and moved a stray strand of pink hair behind her ear. The heat was starting to get to her, making her feel lethargic.

"I can't just help the feeling I've been really stupid, getting so involved with all this..."

"Loving someone is never stupid!" Mitsuki suddenly exclaimed. Meroko had figured she was the timid, soft-spoken type, so hearing her speak her mind so strongly took her by surprise. Mitsuki seemed to be astonished herself: she blushed a bit, but her voice didn't waver when she continued.

"What I want to say is... I can't think of any reason why Takuto is acting the way he is now...but you definitely shouldn't think it's wrong or stupid that you fell in love with him or that you approached him. When he met you in the party, it was him who asked you to come with him, wasn't it? He must've had a reason for that. Maybe he was feeling lonely...and you were the right person in the right place and at the right time. I'd like to think that, at least."

Mitsuki's words reminded Meroko of a rainy night when she had drunk too much – for the first and the last time of her life – and when she, too, had needed just the right person... She smiled at the memory, which evaporated like raindrops on a sunny day.

"I hope you're right..."

"It must be just some sort of misunderstanding. If you can get to talk to him properly, you'll work it out."

"But how can I do that...?"

"I'm afraid that's something I can't help you with," Mitsuki said and stood up to stretch her arms. "You have your way of doing things. And you've already made your way this far. I know you can get over something like this!"

They started walking again. After some time spent without a word being exchanged, Mitsuki spoke again.

"I'm really glad that you told me all this," she said. "Not that I'm happy to hear about anyone's problems, but...this is the first time that a friend has depended on me like this. Can I call you a friend?"

"Uh...sure. And thanks for listening to me. I don't really have anyone to tell these things to."

"You can tell me anytime," Mitsuki promised.

"Likewise."

The two girls parted ways and Meroko went back home, feeling much more hopeful.

* * *

><p>"Let's take it one more time!" Takuto said to the microphone, provoking incredulous reactions on the other side of the thick glass wall of the recording room.<p>

"Huh? Again?"

"You can't be serious!"

"We're already working overtime..."

"They're right. That's enough for today," said the producer, who had entered the room before the last take. Everybody turned to look at him, some looking relieved. Takuto huffed but didn't say anything. He had been in musician mode day in, day out. It was the only thing that could keep his thoughts from going in all-too-familiar circles.

Only the producer remained in the recording room by the time Takuto had gathered his things and prepared to leave. Right when the proud singer had walked past him, the older man said:

"Music is not the worst possible thing to drown your troubles in...but you've got to consider the feelings of everyone here. Some of them have families to return to. And though I didn't hear everything you've recorded today, that last take sounded more than a little forced. You need to give it a rest and try again when you're more relaxed."

And so was a new person added to the list of people who were telling Takuto what to do... But he couldn't deny being somewhat taken aback by this one. Usually the producer only talked about sales and marketing, which Takuto couldn't be less interested in. If he went as far as giving Takuto advice on his personal life, the recording must have been really bad.

Takuto loitered in the hallway, not knowing where to go. Home didn't sound very tempting. He wondered what the time was, but was reluctant to take his cell phone out of his bag to check. He knew without looking that he had at least one unanswered call from Meroko and that he didn't feel like calling her back.

One of the doors was slightly ajar. Takuto paid it no mind at first, but then he heard something that caught his attention. Someone was humming a melody that was very familiar to him. Happy about the distraction, Takuto opened the door carefully and peeked in. It was a small break room that had always been one of his favourites. The only person inside the room was sitting on a sofa and writing something in a notebook. There were other books open on the table.

Takuto felt that it was rude to just stand there and listen when the other person had yet to notice his presence. While stepping into the room he made a small sound that was loud enough to catch the person's attention. The humming stopped and the girl who was sitting on the sofa turned quickly around with a smile which turned into a surprised expression. It was the new girl who had been recording her first single lately. Her stage name was Full Moon, and Takuto was sure it had something to do with her first name, but he couldn't remember what that name was again... He had only seen the girl once or twice so the two hadn't yet had a chance to talk.

"Sorry for intruding. Are you busy with something?"

"No, not at all. I just didn't expect to see you here. I was expecting Ms. Ooshige, but now that I think about it, she said she'd be here after an hour or so. Come in if you like."

Takuto came to sit on the sofa but to a reasonable distance from the girl. He looked at the books spread on the table curiously. They seemed to be...history and math textbooks?

"I'm doing my homework," she explained. "My grandmother didn't want to let me become a singer at all, but in the end she said I could do it, but I'd have to graduate, too."

Takuto nodded. He remembered having schoolbooks crammed together with music sheets in his backpack when he sang in Route L. There were times when he wanted to ditch the books and become a full-time singer, but Aoi and the others always put his education first. There never where concerts when an exam was coming up.

"I like doing my homework here. Somehow it helps me to concentrate if I sing at the same time," the girl smiled a little sadly. "I can't really sing at home..."

"Actually, I wanted to ask you about the song you were singing just now. It's Eternal Snow, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is...why do you ask?"

Why? Because no one was supposed to know that song! Aoi had written it not long before the accident. The band had just started practising it, but even a demo hadn't been recorded. It would have been in their next album, but Route L had disbanded before it had been completed.

"I was just wondering how it is that you know about it."

"Oh...right. Well...I remember my father singing it to me after he had written it. He'd always let me hear the songs first and ask me how I felt about them –"

"Your father? But then you'd have to be...Aoi's... You're Mitsuki Koga?" Takuto's voice was louder than he had intended, but he didn't care. Mitsuki wasn't fazed by Takuto's reaction, though her right hand did twitch a little at the sudden increase in volume.

"I switched into my grandmother's last name when she became my guardian, so I'm Mitsuki Kouyama now. But yes, I am his daughter."

Takuto felt like he had been hit to the head with the news. He couldn't believe that he was talking with a living, breathing, easily the most tangible proof that Aoi had been alive. That was why her name had felt familiar, of course! How had he not realized it? It could be said in his defence that he had met Aoi's child only a few times when her father had lived. That tiny, tiny girl that was just a foggy image in his memories...

"My grandmother, from my mother's side, hates music," Mitsuki admitted. "There might be something else to it, too, but I think it got worse when my mother died... Grandma made my father promise he wouldn't involve me in his show business world, so he didn't talk much about me in public. In the end, I was raised by two very different people. They never learned to understand each other, but at least they tried to get along for my sake." Mitsuki's smile broadened and she turned to look at Takuto.

"I always wanted to be a singer, though. I always listened to the complete versions of my father's songs and I loved the way you made them sound just right!"

Takuto's cheeks felt warm. Somehow, hearing that from the daughter of the person _he_ had admired most in his life was the greatest compliment he could ever get.

The two musicians talked about music and their memories of Route L members until Ms. Ooshige finally arrived to fetch Mitsuki. Right before entering she stopped at the door and heard the sound of two people laughing delightedly. Her initial surprise was replaced by relief for Mitsuki, who had been very unsure of herself and afraid of being disliked by the audience and other musicians. Maybe now, if she had found someone with whom she could laugh so freely...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm not too thrilled with the first half of this chapter...but I do like the latter part :) Something about the characters put me in a good mood.**

**I think I had something else to say, but can't remember any of it right now. Maybe next time.**

**Just setting the scene for future development..**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: The halfway point is reached. ...Well, I haven't written the end yet but I think chapter 10 will be final.**

**I remember being in a bit of a pinch writing this chapter. There was a couple of things I had to do before I could get the story where I needed it, but I didn't know how to do that! In the end, I was unexpectedly inspired by the "stalker photographer scandal" episode of the FullMoon anime (which I watched for the sake of this story and nostalgia...it's been almost seven years since I last watched the series!) After that getting covered, the rest of the chapter worked itself out pretty conveniently. Sometimes you just get lucky, I guess :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: Who am I trying to fool?<strong>

Starting from that day, Mitsuki found herself spending a lot of her free time with Takuto. They mostly talked about music, though other topics were becoming more commonplace, as well. But even though she was getting closer and closer to Takuto, Mitsuki had yet to tell Meroko about it. She had decided to, several times even, but whenever the two girls talked – usually over the phone – Mitsuki couldn't find the courage to say the words out loud. One evening was different, but not in a good way.

"Oh, it's six o'clock already! I've got to go, I have to meet..." Mitsuki cut herself off and raised a hand to her mouth. She was going to meet Takuto in town. He had said something about having a reservation in a restaurant. For Mitsuki, it was just a dinner between friends but would Meroko see it the same way?

"Hmm, what's that? Who's the lucky one?" the other girl crooned to the receiver. It was exactly like her to think it was a date. Now Mitsuki certainly couldn't say who she was going with.

"Well, um...it's...I mean..."

"Don't be shy! At least tell me his name."

"It's...Eichi."

The word slipped from Mitsuki's lips before she had time to think, and settled on her chest like a heavy, cold stone. Meroko, who couldn't see Mitsuki's face, was bubbling with curiosity.

"Eichi, huh? What kind of a guy is he? He's probably really cute! Have you known him for long?"

Mitsuki ignored her aching heart and told Meroko about the boy she had been in love with for as long as she could remember. Eichi had been a sweet boy who lived near Mitsuki when her father was still alive. He had taught her so many things, especially about the Moon and constellations, and shared many peaceful hours with her, looking at the sky. She had been truly happy at those moments...at least as happy as when she was listening to her father singing to her. In her dearest dream where her father was still alive and where her grandmother had learned to love music as well, Eichi was by her side. Mitsuki let her imagination draw on that happy image as she invented a fairly credible story about her boyfriend.

The real Eichi had died. It had happened soon after the accident that had ended her father's life.

After finishing the call Mitsuki sighed and slumped on her bed.

"I lied..."

* * *

><p>She couldn't get her lie out of her mind even when she arrived to the place where she and Takuto were supposed to meet. It was a peaceful alley between the station and a district famous for many popular bars and restaurants.<p>

Meroko had been excited about her date with Eichi (and "a little offended" that Mitsuki hadn't mentioned him earlier) and she had made Mitsuki promise to tell everything about the evening later – down to every little detail.

'_That's what friends do, right?'_

Mitsuki's hold of her purse tightened as she thought about those words. How was she ever going to explain this? She had only refrained from telling the truth so far, but this time she had really lied.

"You...you're Full Moon, aren't you?"

Mitsuki jumped at the voice from her side and turned to see a tall man, probably in his late twenties. His voice was steady and his eyes were clear, but he unmistakably smelled of alcohol. Mitsuki took a deep breath to calm down.

"Yes, I am. Is there something I can help you with?"

"There's a _bunch_ of things you could help me with...but let's talk about you first. You've been looking mighty troubled for some time now. Come with me, I'll treat you."

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm already expecting someone..."

"Whoever he is, he's making a lady wait and we can't have that! Just ditch him. Look, let's go and find someplace nice to talk..." The man had reached his hand for Mitsuki's arm, but she stepped to the side. She hoped Takuto would come quickly. Ooshige had warned her about this kind of people. Her 'pure, untainted idol' image appealed to some people in the wrong way...

"You are very kind, but I really am alright with waiting right here. My friend will be here soon," Mitsuki said a little more firmly.

The man started to get irritated when he noticed that things weren't going as smoothly as he had thought. The left corner of his mouth twitched but his persuasive smile just widened, revealing his gums. He took a large step forward and caught Mitsuki's forearm before she had time to move away.

"Hey, I'm a fan of yours! Won't you humour me just for a bit...? It's people like me who give you the money you get from your company. You should give a little something in return, too..."

"Hands off her, you scum!"

Takuto's left hand pushed the unfamiliar man away from Mitsuki and half a second later his right fist punched the man's bearded jaw. Mitsuki's eyes went wide at the rash development of the situation. She had never seen a person hit another in real life. Her grandmother and father had always been very strict about aggressive behaviour, and surely Eichi would never... Why was she comparing Takuto to Eichi?

"Tch! What the..." The man spat bloody saliva on the street. The blood was from a small cut in his lower lip. He brushed his hand over his mouth and glared at Takuto.

"Well if it isn't the lady-killer himself! Lay off, won't you. You already have so many girls, why don't you let someone else have this one, at least..."

"Shut up and get out or I'll make you," Takuto said. The man chuckled.

"You think you can do anything just 'cause you're a bit popular? Here's what I think about you and your shitty music –take that!"

"Takuto!" Mitsuki screamed when Takuto barely evaded a blow aimed at his face. "Please stop, both of you!"

"Sorry, Mitsuki," Takuto answered, "but this guy doesn't seem to listen to reason." He blocked another punch and moved to the side, but failed to throw the larger man of balance.

The fight didn't last for long. A waitress in the bar next door had realized what was going on and the security staff arrived to calm things down within two minutes. The two men and the confused idol were taken to a small staff room of the bar and they were told to wait obediently.

Mitsuki's heart jumped to her throat when she saw a police officer enter the room a few short minutes later.

* * *

><p>Meroko came to work in the first shift that morning. It was just her and someone from the wholesaler that brought fresh goods to the shop every morning. Meroko opened the store and said goodbye to the other worker, starting to sort out the day's arrivals.<p>

"Today's magazines should be in this box..."

The very moment Meroko opened the large cardboard box, she was greeted by the newest issue of a daily gossip magazine. Its front declared:

_SCOOP! TAKUTO KIRA INVOLVED IN FISTFIGHT – FIGHTING OVER A GIRL?_

"What...?"

Meroko snatched one of the magazines and opened it. It wasn't hard to find what she was looking for: the article was in the centerfold. It had screaming bright colours and a lot of highlighted parts. Most of the left page was dedicated to a photo taken by a reader who had witnessed the whole story. Despite the bad quality of the picture, it was clearly a photo of Takuto punching an unknown man. The third person in the picture was standing next to the two men with a shocked expression on her face.

"That's...Mitsuki. But wasn't he on a date with...Eichi? Could that other man be him?"

It didn't seem likely. The article said that the man was called Kazuhiko (he preferred not to make his last name public), 28 years old. He was much older than Eichi was supposed to be, and he didn't match Mitsuki's description of her childhood friend at all. Meroko frowned and read further.

"_It appears that the origin of the clash is somehow related to a recently debuted singer called Full Moon (16)._

'_I was just talking to her when that crazy punk waltzed in and punched me in the face. I had no choice but to defend myself. Someone's got to teach these spoiled rock star brats a bit of reality,' Kazuhiko explains his reasons for exchanging blows with the former Route L vocalist._

_Eyewitnesses confirm that Takuto Kira was the first to resort to violence:_

'_I didn't see the incident too well, but Takuto definitely struck first.'_

'_I like his music so it makes me sad to think he'd do something like this. He might have had his reasons, but I think it's wrong to hurt someone else, no matter what."_

'_Maybe the girl was two-timing and that's why the men were so angry?' "_

There was a lot more to the article, but Meroko just stared at the picture and Takuto's name. Normally, she didn't believe a word of those magazines, but...

"Takuto and...Mitsuki?"

* * *

><p>"Maybe you'd like to tell me a bit more about this," the producer threw the magazine on the table. Everyone in the room reacted in their own way: Mitsuki gasped, Ooshige frowned, Takuto grunted and his manager – a small bald man with an amazing ability to remember names, dates and appointments even without his calendar – whimpered almost inaudibly. The producer let his sharp eyes wander around the room, scanning everyone's faces, before reading the article aloud. Ooshige twitched at the mention of Mitsuki and sighed deeply. Full Moon herself seemed to shrink smaller and smaller as her face grew red. Takuto's breathing was shallow and his eyes were fixed to the floor.<p>

"Well, you two really did it now. I hope you had a good night out," the producer said coldly and eyed a slightly swollen spot in Takuto's face. Mitsuki, who wasn't used to being scolded like this, couldn't take it anymore. She bowed so that her hair came down like a waterfall of dark chocolate.

"I'm so sorry about this! It's all my -"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you," said the producer, making the girl jolt and snap her mouth closed. "It's been only a week since your first single was released. Unlike Takuto, who is already well known by the audience – which doesn't mean this isn't a problem for him, too – you're still a blank page for most. There is a possibility that this will affect people's image of you for your whole career. Rumours are already spreading that Takuto has secretly supported you for some time now and that you wouldn't have made it through the audition without his help." Ooshige looked baffled at hearing this.

"That's a complete lie! Haven't they heard her sing...?"

"It doesn't matter if it's true or not. That's what people say, and we could fire her for this."

"What?"

"You can't be serious!" Takuto suddenly shouted, making everyone else except the producer look at him. Mitsuki turned to look at the older man, desperately. Could her dream to become a singer really break this easily?

"As I said, we could do it. There are many talented young girls who would give anything to take your place. But I've talked with our section president and they've decided to keep you for now. Full Moon still sings...but without any more surprises like this. Understood?"

"Y-yes! I promise," Mitsuki said and bowed again, just as deep as a moment ago. Ooshige did the same. Even Takuto nodded gratefully and gave a sigh of relief. Takuto's manager sweated incessantly.

Mitsuki and Ooshige were dismissed from the office. When Takuto heard the sound of the closing door, he looked up to face the producer. He knew he was in trouble and it wasn't like him to run or hide from things like that. He'd just have to go at it head-on.

"I can explain what happened, if that's what you want. It's wasn't Mitsuki's fault."

"I know. I think I get the general idea anyway. It could be that without your interference, things would be even direr, at least for her. There was nothing wrong with what you did, but your means were unacceptable."

'_It's not like you have to tell me that,' _Takuto thought to himself as he ground his teeth together. He couldn't understand it himself – why had he gone so far? Sure, he often acted on impulse and his patience was far from that of a saint, but normally he didn't go punching people. Aoi had always said violence wasn't the right way to solve things and Keiichi, being a doctor, was against causing injuries to people in general... Why had seeing Mitsuki being harassed by that guy sent him off so badly?

"You must control yourself better," continued the producer, ignoring Takuto's clenching hands. "You can start doing that today. I'll go tell the team they have the day off – that goes for you, too. Go home, take a walk, clear your head, whatever. Just don't get yourself any more trouble. We'll continue the recording once you get rid of some of that tension."

So that was his punishment. Takuto could think of a dozen worse ways to penalize him, but this was probably just the producer's way to show that he really did believe that Takuto had been helping Mitsuki out the previous night. However, the fact that the punishment wasn't severe didn't mean it wasn't a punishment. Now that the option of working on his album was unavailable, he wanted nothing more than precisely that. The following day seemed to be a lifetime away from him.

He sure as hell didn't want to go home.

* * *

><p>"Home sweet home...I guess?"<p>

Meroko stood in front of the house of the Rikyou family. She wasn't working that Saturday, and her parents had deigned to invite her for a visit – it was her mother's birthday, after all. Besides the New Year's day, it was the only date the Rikyou couple called their prodigal daughter back home, if only to remind themselves of Meroko's existence. Or maybe it was said in one of those sacred etiquette books that her mother was so fond of that even a disappointing offspring had to be acknowledged twice a year?

Meroko had almost thrown the invitation letter straight to the trash bin when she noticed her mother still had stubbornly addressed the letter to Moe Rikyou – even though Meroko had shown her identity card last year in order to prove that she went by a different name now, even _officially_...she guessed there was just no convincing her parents. Well, at least she knew where she had inherited that trait from.

'_Now that I think of it, I wasn't here last winter. I was in...Takuto's New Year concert...'_

Takuto was part of the reason she had changed her mind and opened the envelope in the first place. She had heard too much gossip about Takuto Kira and Full Moon's supposed relationship and didn't know what to think about anything anymore. She had been so relieved when Mitsuki had cheered her on with getting closer to Takuto...so why did things have to end up like this? Why did the same thing always happen...?

'_Oh, here I go again. I came here to _forget _about that, didn't I?'_ Meroko shook her head and pressed the chime attached to the wall next to the gate surrounding the house and the courtyard. After a brief silence the speaker above the bell came to life and Meroko heard a fuzzy voice of a woman.

"_Good day. May I inquire your name?"_

"It's me," Meroko said, hoping that the person in the other end could recognize her by her voice. Her wish came true when the door opened shortly and a plump woman in her thirties, who was wearing a plain yukata, came out to greet her with an amiable smile.

"Miss Yui, welcome home. It's been a while," she said and Meroko was glad that _someone_ in the household got her name right. Arina Miyazawa had been hired as a housekeeper when Meroko had been in grade school. The woman had planned to work only for a couple of years before getting married, but Meroko had seen her grow older, still without a fiancé. She seemed to be as unlucky in love as Meroko, which made them sympathize with each other, even though their circumstances in life were quite different.

"It has. I've been...occupied," Meroko smiled back at the housekeeper as she stepped to the other side of the thick, gray wall.

The house was ridiculously large for three people –or four, back when Meroko still had lived there. It wouldn't have made a difference if they had only had one small room in the house, though, as the hearts of its residents had always been miles apart. Keiko Rikyou's nose twitched ever so slightly when she saw her daughter's still pink hair, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, she scrutinized Meroko briefly before telling her to come inside. Meroko was glad for having decided to leave her flashier outfits in the closet and wear a modest black-and-white dress her mother had given her a few years back.

Ms. Miyazawa had just been going to start serving tea, and an extra cup for Meroko was added to the table. In addition to her parents, Meroko noticed a third person sitting gracefully at the Japanese-style table.

"Mrs. Kouyama, I wonder if you remember our daughter. Moe is living at some distance away from here, you see, so she can only visit us so often."

"I remember. It is a pleasure to see her again," said the unfamiliar woman, who was even older than Meroko's parents. Meroko bowed clumsily while hating the formal atmosphere from the bottom of her heart – she just wasn't cut out for this type of interaction. Her mother continued carrying out the introductions by explaining that the woman's name was Fuzuki Kouyama. She lived in the neighbourhood and had become a good friend of the family in recent times. Mr. Rikyou was barely participating in the conversation, only giving a nod or a grunt every now and then, silently letting his wife manoeuvre the conversation. Meroko looked at the sour expression on Mrs. Kouyama's face and decided that birds of a feather really did flock together.

A tediously long hour crawled by and Meroko was starting to lose confidence in being able to maintain her sanity throughout the visit. Her mother clearly tried her best to think of topics for discussion that wouldn't risk bringing up anything undesirable about the family. Upholding the ridiculous image of her as an impeccable daughter of her prestigious family was beyond tiring and Meroko decided she had to get away, if just for five minutes. She excused herself from the table and fled to the adjoining room. She was deliberating where she should go for her moment of respite when her mother's voice nailed her right where she was standing. The thin wall granted her the relief of invisibility but enabled effortless eavesdropping.

"Say, Mrs. Kouyama – how has little Mitsuki been lately? I trust she is in good health?"

Mitsuki? _Mitsuki Kouyama?_

"Fortunately, yes. Dr. Wakaouji did an excellent job when he performed the surgery, though I was somewhat reluctant at first..."

"Yes...I understand your feelings. After all, he was involved in a band, of all things... Who would have guessed he is such a competent doctor, as well!"

Why were all these familiar names suddenly invading the conversation? Mitsuki had once mentioned living with her grandmother, but she actually lived in the same neighbourhood as Meroko's family? And Dr. Wakaouji...Keiichi Wakaouji of Route L had been studying medical science when Route L was formed. Somehow Meroko couldn't believe it was all just a coincidence – but what kind of an operation had Mitsuki undergone?

* * *

><p>"Mitsuki Kouyama? Well, it's not a wonder you haven't heard of her. She spent most of her time inside the house. She even attended school only every now and then," Miyazawa explained while placing a clean plate she had just dried into its rightful place in the cupboard. Fuzuki Kouyama had seemed disinclined to talk any more about her granddaughter and Mrs. Rikyou had changed the subject, not wanting to overstep the boundaries of good manners. Meroko had then headed for the kitchen, where her next best potential source of information was doing the dishes and happy to share what she knew in exchange for a helping hand.<p>

"What was wrong with her, then?"

"She had a tumour in her throat, or so I've heard. Apparently it was quite serious. But I don't think Mrs. Kouyama would have shown her off very much even if she had been completely healthy..." the housekeeper bent her back so that her mouth was closer to Meroko's right ear and lowered her voice, "You see, people rumoured back then that Mrs. Kouyama didn't approve of her daughter's marriage to little Mitsuki's father. It had something to do with his occupation...hm, why can't I remember the name of the group...they were so popular back then..."

"It's not...Route L, is it?"

"Oh, yes! You liked that band, too, didn't you Ms. Yui? If only we had realized that one of them was a relative of Mrs. Kouyama's!" Miyazawa continued reminiscing about the rumours that circulated among idle housewives and curious housekeepers in the wealthy area, but Meroko barely registered her words because breathing had suddenly become much harder.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: My brand-new laptop got some crazy problems, and I had to take it to the shop...they took theor sweet tme fixing it...but now it's back again (and that's good, because I have to do something for an English course and the deadline's today! I was lucky to have printed the excercises for the phontetics and the literary studies lessons beforehand...)**

**This is something of a turning point, provoking a major change in the dynamics of the characters. I was asked at an early point not to make Mitsuki a bad guy...and I guess that something I've been wanting to be true to is that no one should be portrayed as the "root of all evil" or anything. But all the characters still have things they could've handled differently and things they regret. In real life, people don't usually go around thinking how to make other people feel miserable. They just do stupid things because they don't see (or don't want to see) the bigger picture.**

**...Or something. I'm too much of a kid to be spouting all this deep stuff...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6: I don't wanna scream lest I should tear<strong>

"Mitsuki, do you want some watermelon? I just bought a large one," chirped Ms. Tanaka as she peeked her head from the door of Mitsuki's separate room.

"Oh, thank you. I'd love to have some," the girl beamed, raising her eyes from her math textbook. There were only one or two exams before summer holiday, and she wanted to get good results in order to convince her grandmother that she could handle work and school at the same time. "Has grandmother returned from the Rikyous yet?"

"Yes, she just arrived. It's a pity she didn't take you with her, though... It seems that their daughter, Ms. Moe, was there as well. She's not that much older than you. Maybe the two of you could become friends. Well, we rarely see her here these days, but..."

"It's alright," Mitsuki said. "I'm fine the way I am now." She was still a bit unsure when it came to making friends and dealing with unfamiliar things, though becoming Full Moon had boosted her confidence a lot. Besides, she had already made Meroko angry, which didn't exactly make her feel very excited about befriending someone else right away...

When Ms. Tanaka had left for the main house, Mitsuki's cell phone came to life as if on cue. Mitsuki gasped at realising that the caller was Meroko.

'_Just breathe. Maybe I can finally apologize properly...but I still don't really know what to say...' _

"H-hello?" Mitsuki held the phone with both trembling hands, afraid of dropping the small object (hi-tech and courtesy of SEED Records).

"_Are you busy today?"_

"What? No, not at all! I'm not doing anything important!" She realized her reply was a bit too eager to be natural...

"_That's good. I want to talk to you. I'll be in the Momokuri Park. Can you make it in half an hour?"_

Mitsuki glanced at the clock and said it was absolutely fine by her. After that, the conversation was over. Meroko had sounded a bit strange – it wasn't like her to speak with so few words or in such a monotone voice. She was probably angry.

Mitsuki almost bumped into her grandmother and Ms. Tanaka on her way to the front gate of their garden. Both women looked surprised at her hurry, and Mitsuki felt a pang of guilt in her heart when she noticed a tray full of delicious-looking slices of watermelon in Ms. Tanaka's hands.

"I promise I'll be back for dinner!"

"Mitsuki..?" he grandmother started, frowning.

"I'm sorry, I'll explain later. There's something important I must do no matter what!" the girl exclaimed over her shoulder before closing the door behind her and hurrying up the street. She walked past many cars parked next to the large mansions, but she didn't notice a man with golden eyes sitting in one of them. He carefully watched her go by before taking off the headphones her had been wearing and took up his laptop from the next to the driver's seat. He looked at the numerous open program windows on the screen and tapped his index finger thoughtfully. Then he made his mind and put the computer back to its place.

* * *

><p>"There's a call for you," said Jonathan. Takuto looked up with a confused face.<p>

"Huh?"

"Someone just called in and said he wants to talk with Takuto Kira," the white-haired man explained as if it was the most natural thing that could happen. But Takuto hadn't told anyone he was going to Jonathan's. He had just thought of places where he could spend his sudden day off and the café had pleased him the most. Besides, wasn't making calls to cafés a thing of the past now that everyone had their own personal phones? If the caller didn't have his number, could it even be someone Takuto wanted to talk to?

"Who is it?"

"He didn't say. Do you take the call or not?"

"Fine, I'll take it," Takuto huffed, stood up and followed the café owner to a room behind the counter where there was a pitch black landline phone.

"Takuto Kira speaking," he said to the receiver. The voice in the other end made the fingers of his free hand twitch angrily.

"How convenient of you to be there right when I wanted to talk to you, Tak-kun."

"Wha- Izumi? How the hell did you know I was here, you bastard!"

"I see you're aggressive as ever. Glad that I decided to call this time – otherwise you might make it to the front page again." Takuto ground his teeth upon hearing the notion. The other man must have enjoyed being able to stab at him with _that_.

"Did you actually have something to say or are you planning to just make me listen to your ranting all day?"

"You know I wouldn't do that. I have a piece of advice for you: you might want to go to the Momokuri Park. Now."

"Why's that?"

"You'll see if you go there, but it's your choice to make. That's all I have to say."

Takuto would have wanted to find out more but Izumi had already hung up.

'_What the hell was up with that, anyway?'_

Takuto reminded himself that things had been going wrong ever since Izumi had come spouting his "advice" the first time. But then again, Izumi had been right in a way, hadn't he?

What in the world was going to happen in Momokuri Park?

* * *

><p>The smothering hot, sunny weather that had loomed over the town for a whole week was starting to subside as heavy, dark clouds took over the perfect blue sky that afternoon. A thunderstorm was brewing in the horizon and it was going to start raining any minute now. It made Meroko uncomfortable. She hated rain.<p>

She spotted Mitsuki when the girl was still far from the bench she was sitting on. The whole park was empty. Most likely everyone were inside, seeking shelter from the imminent downpour. Meroko decided that it was better that way – unnecessary attention was the last thing she needed.

Mitsuki was panting slightly when she stopped close to the bench. She didn't sit down, but stood with a worried look on her face, looking at Meroko, who stood up before deigning to meet the younger girl's gaze. Mitsuki shivered a little at her cold eyes and Meroko mused it must have come as a surprise that the pink-haired girl even could pull off a face like that.

"Meroko, I-"

"Don't bother. It was a pretty sweet story, I'll give you that, but your date with _dear Eichi_ isn't what I wanted to talk about."

"It...isn't?"

"No, it's not. And though I'd like to know why you were there with Takuto instead, I have a question to ask before that."

"You can ask me anything. I promise I'll answer," Mitsuki said with downcast eyes. Well, at least she was co-operative enough.

"How are you connected to Route L?"

"What...?" Mitsuki looked surprised, perhaps even a bit relieved that the question wasn't about the previous night. "They are...very important to me."

"That's not what I asked. Is there something else besides Wakaouji being your doctor?"

"Ah...yes...Aoi Koga is my...father."

There it was: the moment when things couldn't get any worse. Meroko faintly remembered reading from an interview that Aoi had a daughter. Nothing else was ever revealed about the child, not even her name of exact age. Meroko had often imagined how it would be like to be that girl, with a man like Aoi as his father, living in a world that was so close to Takuto's...

Eternal Snow. That was the name of Full Moon's first single. Though Meroko had heard it only once, briefly in the radio, she had instantly been captivated by it. She had even been planning on buying the CD.

'_It's a song my father wrote,'_ Mitsuki had told her the first time they had met. The beautiful melody Aoi had created, the lyrics that he had written...all those feelings he had put into the song had stemmed from inside the girl who carried her parents' legacy within her.

How could Takuto _not _be enraptured with someone like that?

"Meroko?" Mitsuki said uncertainly. The other girl didn't react. Unsure of what to do, Mitsuki stepped closer and reached to touch Meroko's shoulder.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I just-"

Mitsuki's hand was slapped away so suddenly she gasped and nearly tumbled down.

"Don't treat me like I'm an idiot!" Meroko yelled and a flash of lightning reflected from her eyes. It barely took a second for the loud thunder to follow. The storm was hovering high above the town, wrapping it in its dark grasp.

"You're _sorry?_! You've got to be kidding me! 'I'm going to record in the same room as Takuto Kira,' you said! Oh, and what was it...'Loving someone is never wrong?'" Meroko mockingly imitated Mitsuki, "You must've had _so _much fun when you were after Takuto all along! Maybe you laughed at me together when you had one of your little dates?"

"No, it's not-"

"Doesn't matter! It doesn't make the damnedestdifference because you're not getting him!"

Meroko was beyond the point of being able to think straight. The thunderstorm was child's play compared to the turmoil in her heart. She wanted to _hurt _someone. She wanted to rage and trash and tear everything apart.

All the more because she knew that nothing would come out of it, no matter how much she tried.

She lunged at Mitsuki. Her right hand yanked fistfuls of the beautiful, curly hair while the other grabbed the younger girl's wrist and wrenched it to the side.

"Please stop! Meroko!" Mitsuki pleaded, but her cries were drowned by the sound of the thunder.

"You're not taking Takuto from me! I'm going to do anything, anything it takes to get you _out_ of his life! I'm not letting you near him ever again! Do you hear me? NEVER! I will-"

"MITSUKI!"

Mere minutes ago Meroko had thought nothing could make things worse. She had forgotten that life had a habit of always finding a way to prove that even the worst possible situation could still get worse...somehow.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

For a while, Takuto looked like he was going to hit Meroko like he had hit the man from the previous night, but he changed his mind. It didn't take a lot to separate Meroko from Mitsuki, as her hands had suddenly become powerless and limp. She just stared expressionlessly when Takuto protectively wrapped his arms around Mitsuki. The brunette's hair was a mess. She had a small red mark in her face where one of Meroko's nails had scratched her and a few tears of shock slid down her cheeks. Meroko heard Takuto yelling angrily and she knew he was yelling at her, but she couldn't quite hear what he said. It had started raining now.

_Takuto..._

"...so you can go back to your _Izumi_ – maybe he'd actually take you back!"

Those words brought her back to reality.

"You...know Izumi?"

Takuto snorted. "He was the one who told me to come here in the first place. I can't say I like him, but it looks like he was right about one thing at least."

Takuto had met Izumi. Takuto had talked with Izumi. Izumi had told Takuto about her.

Meroko didn't even dare to ask herself how things could get worse than this. She ignored Mitsuki calling her name and as she turned around and ran. Why did this all feel so familiar? She couldn't distinguish old wounds from new ones, because her eyes were blinded by tears and her heart was drenched in the heavy rain.

She only remembered the rain.

The rain continued for three days. It only stopped for a short while before starting again, taking away the summer's warmth. People put on warm jackets whenever they went outside.

Mitsuki stood next to an old six-story apartment building. She gazed calmly at the windows from under her umbrella and wondered which one of them was Meroko's.

She had tried calling Meroko ever since the episode in the park, but for the first two days, she had spent her time listening to the receiver. On the third day the call hadn't even connected, and Mitsuki had decided to go see her friend – or at least former friend – in person. Takuto had agreed to give her the address after a lengthy argument that Mitsuki had surprisingly won. He had still been against Mitsuki's plan to go to the apartment.

* * *

><p>"<em>She might really have some problems. What if she attacks you again?"<em>

"_Don't say that! I...I don't think she would."_

"_She already did, in case you didn't notice. Who says it won't happen again?"_

"_I just want to talk to her. I'm sure that if I just explain..."_

"_Mitsuki...there are people who just can't be reasoned with. I want you to understand that."_

* * *

><p>"I do understand," Mitsuki said quietly as she watched the raindrops falling to the ground under her feet, "But I just can't imagine Meroko being like that."<p>

Mitsuki walked inside the building and looked at the frame on the wall, searching for Meroko's name on the list of residents. She found it under the third floor and, noticing the lift wasn't working, started making her way up the stairs.

She was surprised to find that someone was already standing behind – or, from Mitsuki's point of view, in front of – the door that she had been looking for. He was tall and lean, even a bit too thin for his height, as is he hadn't been eating very well. He didn't have an umbrella and judging by the creases in his yellow and black clothes, he had been walking in the rain and let his clothes dry by themselves – they seemed to be only damp at the moment. He was looking at the door intently, lost in thought.

"Umm..." Mitsuki started, getting the man's attention. He turned to look at her and to her surprise he seemed to recognize her.

"You're Micky, aren't you?"

"Uh...my name is Mitsuki. Do you happen to be called Izumi?"

"Looks like we already know each other. But I don't see why you would come here."

"I want to talk to Meroko."

"That's not possible," Izumi deadpanned.

"Why not?"

"Because she won't come to the door no matter what you try."

"Maybe...maybe she's out?"

"That's not it. She hasn't left the house for three days."

Mitsuki eyed Izumi's dark expression for a moment before his message sank in.

"You mean...not at all?"

"Not even once."

"But...but she has to! She's got to buy food and go to work..."

"She should, but she hasn't. I know that."

"How can you be so sure...?"

"Because I've watched her...all this time."

Izumi walked past Mitsuki and headed downstairs. Mitsuki hurried after him, now much more worried than when she had come to the apartment. If what Izumi had said was true...

"What do you mean? Please wait!"

"I meant what I said," Izumi said without slowing down. He walked outside, heedless of the rain, Mitsuki right behind him. She followed him all the way until he stopped next to a car – Mitsuki didn't remember it, but it was the same car that had been parked between her house and that of the Rikyous three days ago.

"Mostly it means this," the blond said and pointed his trusty laptop, answering Mitsuki's earlier question. Mitsuki peeked into the car and noticed a set of headphones, an orange blanket, a shopping bag with some cans and another bag full of clothes. It was like someone had practically lived in the car.

"You've been here...all the time?"

"Not to this extent. Before, I always knew where Me-chan was as long as she had her cell phone with her."

"How does that happen?"

"By combining a navigator to an electronic device tracing program," he replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "It's not that hard to do."

"I...I see," Mitsuki said, though she wasn't sure if she actually did. "But...why would you do that?"

One corner of Izumi's mouth tipped upwards in a crooked, bitter grin. It was like that was the closest thing to a smile he could muster at the moment, as he stood leaning against his car in the rain.

"Because she won't let me near her. And if she did...I'd probably just end up hurting her all the more."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That's...depressing.  
>Momokuri Park was my beta's idea (she was amazingly helpful again, pointing out a lot of things I hadn't thought of...), I don't know where she swiped it from. Well, I like it :)<br>Next time, we'll have some IzumixMeroko content in the form of flashbacks. I hope that makes some of you happy (by the way, special thanks for a new reviewer: Sea Blush!)  
>PS: I get the feeling that, being sort of an antisocial but clever person, Izumi could be well-versed with computers. Is that a strange thought? :D<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: It's...been some time again, sorry. I've been surprisingly busy. With sensible things and...not so sensible (I just got a new game and played 32 hours in one week. Oops. But I had to catch up my friend who got her copy earlier!) In any case, I'm glad that this chapter is finally here.**

**Thanks for everyone who reviewed again! This story is actually the longest I've written so far and it has most reviews (well 8 might not be much for some but...) so I feel kinda honoured :) And SeaBlush, since you're reviewing anonymously I'll just answer your question here: though the genre includes "Romance" (I spent a lot of time debating in my mind whether or not I should do that...I write so crappy romance xD) and the main characters are Meroko and Takuto...it's not really a MerokoxTakuto. ...Is that...weird? I mean, I felt like I couldn't really make them a "proper" couple since I wasn't intending to keep them together to begin with. I wonder if I was able to get my meaning across... Oh, and as you can see, Izumi will finally get some spotlight. I've kept him in the backseat purposefully. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7: How could <strong>**I ever love another?**

_It was raining that night, and he was taking a walk outside. He didn't have an umbrella – his mother had taken the only one with her when she left the house. He had left some time later, knowing he didn't need to hurry back. He could tell when his mother was planning on staying out the whole night, with some equally desperate man or other. The child in him wanted to tell her she was above that trash, but he never said it aloud._

_Then he noticed the silhouette of another person in the rain. She was dressed even more inappropriately for the weather than he was, and she had a half-empty bottle of something that looked like whiskey in her hand. He only had to glance at her to be able to tell she was outrageously drunk._

_Not wanting to get involved, Izumi continued walking as if the girl wasn't even there. He was just about to pass her when she happened to trip on her feet and nearly send him tumbling down as well. The bottle fell from her hand and shattered against the pavement, the colourless liquid mixing with water from the sky. She was half standing, half hanging onto him, and wailing like a little kid. He couldn't make out even half of what she was saying, but he did hear the most important words._

'_I want to die.'_

_He had thought of dying, many years ago. He had even planned out the ideal way for him to die, but he had his mother had moved before he had time to execute his plan, and there wasn't a railroad crossing near the new house. He had tried to think other ways, but he never tried a single one of them, either. Somehow, it just didn't feel the same._

_It might or might not have been because of that, but in the end he took the girl home with him. He gave her a towel to dry herself with, and offered her one of his shirts to wear instead of her dripping wet frilly dress that was a bit torn at the hem. He had to help her out with putting the shirt on properly, ignoring her meek complaints. She passed out almost immediately after the ordeal, falling asleep on the sofa with a considerable number of limbs wrapped around him in some way or another. He wondered what would happen if his mother did wind up coming back home in the middle of the night after all and find him in that position with an unfamiliar girl. The thought gave him enough to think about for the entire night._

* * *

><p>"So that's how you met Meroko..."<p>

Izumi didn't say anything, just watched the raindrops smash against the windscreen. Mitsuki had insisted they should go somewhere where he wouldn't get so wet, and his car was the easiest solution.

"What happened then?" the girl asked.

"In the morning, I took her to her own home and figured I'd never see her again," he shrugged. Mitsuki didn't seem happy with that kind of an ending to the story, so he had to continue.

* * *

><p><em>She really took him utterly, genuinely by surprise when she appeared behind his door only one day after he had walked her to the Rikyou mansion. She was like a different person every time he saw her: the first night, she had been frenzied and teary, the following morning she had hardly said a word...and now she smiled, beaming brighter than a halogen lamp <em>_(tää oli hyvä :D)__. She said she had come to thank him and apologize for her earlier behaviour._

"_I don't remember too much of it, but I must've been a real mess. Things were looking a bit bleak back then."_

_When looking at her upbeat conduct that afternoon, it was almost impossible to believe she was the same girl who had cried against a complete stranger's chest in the middle of the street less than two days ago. Unlike him, who always expected the worst to happen and whose heart was heavy even in the happiest moments, her feelings went up and down like a runaway rollercoaster. It could be either a gift or a curse, but she was always dead serious about what she was feeling._

_That's what he gathered when he gradually got to know her better, at least._

_She started coming to meet him almost every day, and he slowly got used to having her around. Things became even easier when he moved into an apartment of his own. She spent so much time at his place it was almost like she was living there rather than at her own home. She often joked about that and eventually he said he wouldn't mind even if she did move together with him. The face she made upon hearing his words was the happiest since the first time they had kissed._

_Regrettably, his decision began haunting him already after a few days. She was on a trip with her parents – it was a family reunion that took place in another town – and she was supposed to move in a little after that. He had even given her his spare key, and in the darkness of the night, he felt more vulnerable than ever. Even the many times he had watched his mother's open palm descending towards his face all those years ago couldn't compare. He called his landlord the first thing in the morning and asked if he knew of any vacant rooms in another part of the town, saying that it would be better for him to be able to live closer to his school._

* * *

><p>"In other words, I ran away without telling Me-chan anything," Izumi finished and leaned against the headrest. "That was more than a year ago. Around when Tak-kun started singing again," he added almost absently. Mitsuki sat silently and looked at her hands on her lap. She wondered if she should have expected a depressing story like that.<p>

"And you didn't see Meroko after that?"

"Not until a few weeks ago. That's when I started looking for her."

"What changed your mind?"

Izumi glanced at Mitsuki before answering, without the slightest quiver in his voice:

"My mother's death."

Mitsuki gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes escaping his face to look at her lap instead.

"There's no need to look like that," he said a little tiredly, "She had been in the hospital for months already. I knew it was just a matter of time, and I only visited her twice. She slept through both times, though."

It had even been a bit relieving to hear about his mother's demise, like the strangling chain around his neck had finally been broken and cut off. He even dared to hope that maybe, now that his mother's miserable shadow had finally disappeared, he could become like everybody else. But someone like Mitsuki, whose greatest wish was to get a chance to talk to her parents just once more, would never understand that feeling.

By the time Izumi had found where Meroko lived after leaving her childhood home, she was already engrossed with Takuto. Izumi had seen Meroko return home from the SEED party – alone, to his relief – but according to the signal on his computer, her cell phone wasn't with her. He had kept a keen eye on her until he had finally spotted her together with Takuto at the café.

"Figures it had to be him," Izumi muttered darkly. "Me-chan was all over him even before I met her."

Mitsuki remembered Meroko's fierce face from the last time they had seen each other, and frowned. There had to be a way to fix things so that no one would be sad. There _had _to.

"Do you really love Meroko?"

"I'm not proud of the things I've done, you know," Izumi said, misunderstanding her intention, "I'd take a lot of it back if I could."

"No, that's not...just tell me. Do you love her?" Izumi looked at Mitsuki's uncharacteristically stern expression and then at Meroko's house before answering quietly, but unwaveringly.

"I do. All that time we were apart, I couldn't forget her even for a day."

"Good. Then, will you help me with something?"

"...What is it?"

"Well...I told her once that if you truly love someone, that feeling will never go to waste... I don't think she believes me though, at least not right now. But _I_ still want to believe. I'd like to prove it somehow, but I need your help."

"Petty ideals like that are the last thing I'd depend on...but right now I have no choice. What do you want me to do?" Mitsuki's eyes brightened at Izumi's words.

"Firstly, I need to ask you to stop using these," she said, pointing at the laptop and the other devices. She noticed Izumi frowning and continued before he had time to object: "Please, Izumi. Go to your home and try to get some sleep in a proper bed. If you want Meroko to return to you, you have to trust her more than that. Do you think you can do it?"

Golden eyes gazed at a window in the third floor of the building, as if looking for answers there. Finally, Izumi turned to look at Mitsuki and nodded.

It would be his final bet in this game. If he lost it, he would abandon everything.

* * *

><p>"No! I'm <em>not <em>doing that!"

"Takuto..."

"Why do you want me to go to talk to her? I can't believe _you_ went in the first place, though I told you you shouldn't."

"But, I talked with Izumi-"

"That's just making it worse! Mitsuki...those two are bad news. We should just steer clear of them."

"How can you be so cold, Takuto? Would you still say the same thing if it was me instead?"

"If it was you doing...what?"

Mitsuki hoped that the blush in her face could be mistaken for one of agitation. She would have to talk with Takuto about how she felt about him and many, many other things, but right now wasn't the time for that.

"It's just...that I'm worried about Meroko. She just stays in her apartment and doesn't let anyone in..."

"She- she'll come out eventually. She's just brooding," Takuto said, though his resolve wasn't so adamant anymore.

"Takuto, she hasn't gone to work or bought any groceries! And it's been three days! What if something has happened to her?"

Takuto refused to look at Mitsuki and he was staring at the floor angrily, but Mitsuki saw that her words had got through his head, at least.

"Why me?" he finally grunted, all too conscious of how childish his last resort sounded.

"You're the only one who might be able to do it," Mitsuki said truthfully. "You've got to go and talk to her before anything bad happens...because I know you don't want that, either."

* * *

><p>Mitsuki really was astonishingly wise for her age.<p>

Somehow, Takuto was behind Meroko's door again, and it was even harder on him than the first time. He was still angry at her for hurting Mitsuki, of course, but it didn't mean he wasn't worried. He rang the doorbell and waited. There wasn't a sound. He tried again, but nothing happened. Finally he inhaled deeply and forced his voice out of his mouth.

"I know you're there, so come on out. I want to talk to you."

He thought his mission had failed when he heard sounds of a person moving on the other side of the wooden obstacle. Clumsy hands fumbled with the handle and the door opened at last.

"Takuto...?"

He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but the Meroko standing in front of him did not match his image of her at all. Her face seemed tired and ghastly without any makeup and her tousled hair and dishevelled clothes were a far cry from the usual appearance that could be described as a textbook example of "girliness".

"Uhh...can I come in?" he tried awkwardly. She jolted at the question and glanced behind her. There weren't any lights switched on inside the apartment, so Takuto couldn't see what it was like inside.

"I, um...haven't had time to clean up, so it's a bit messy in here. It's better if I come outside. Just...hang on," she disappeared from the door without waiting for him to answer, but leaving the door slightly ajar. After what can't have been more than two minutes she re-emerged, now wearing different clothes and with more groomed hair.

They walked outside in silence, neither knowing how to start untangling the mess their once so simple relationship had become. The rain had finally stopped and the air was cool even though it was afternoon. When Takuto heard Meroko draw a breath, he had to hold back a sigh of relief. She was going to start a conversation...

"So...what was it you wanted to talk about?"

_Crap_. He had said that, hadn't he? Now _he_ had to come up with something to say!

"I, uh... I was just wonderingh how you've been doing recently. We haven't hanged out much..."

...Because he had kept turning her down. Real smooth.

"Oh, right. I've been fine, I went to my parents' place in the weekend and stuff."

"Huh. They were okay?"

"Yeah, just great."

"Great."

"Mm-hm."

'_Okay, this is awkward,' _Takuto thought, inwardly tearing his hair out.

"How about Mitsuki?"

"She's...fine."

"She's not angry at me?"

"No, she's not. To tell the truth, she asked me to come to see you."

Meroko shook her head in a defeated manner.

"I figured as much. That girl's so weird... She should _hate_ me, but she spends her time worrying about my feelings. If I was in her place, I'd probably be making the most of the situation..."

"Really?"

"...Maybe not. But I do know that I wouldn't be able to be like Mitsuki."

"Mm-hm."

"I guess that's why you fell in love with her and not me?"

Takuto almost nodded but when his brain registered the meaning of the sentence, a warning flag popped on the top of his head. It sounded like a trick question – was he supposed to agree or deny it? Why was it that women were sometimes so _straightforward_ when they normally wouldn't get over beating around the proverbial bush?

Finally he took a deep breath and tried to evade the question.

"Can't we...I mean, I'm not the kind of guy who looks down to his fans or anything. I always appreciated your letters and all that, even though I had never met you. And now that I know you better, I respect you even more. I feel like...I can relax when I'm with you."

Takuto nodded to himself and closed his mouth, not daring to say anything more. He wasn't used to putting his feeling to words, damnit! Well, songwriting was a different story, but...

"Just hearing you say that is more than I should wish for, but...it's impossible."

"Why?" he asked, frowning.

"Girls are greedy, and _fan girls_ are even worse. No matter how illogical and stupid it might seem, we still secretly wish we could be the most important person for the one who we admire. Usually that never happens, so we are happy with little things like getting autographs and seeing that person up close, if just for one minute. Every time we listen to a beautiful song, we can imagine that the song was written for us and us alone." Meroko clasped her hands together on her lap and her eyes followed a small grey bird flying towards the horizon.

"I was like that. But I did end up meeting you and going much farther than those brief contacts. I...don't know if I can go back to being just a fan like I used to be. You know what they say about drugs, right? If you're used to bigger doses, you can't get the same high with something that much smaller."

"I'm like...a drug?" Takuto gaped at the metaphor. He was just a singer, a normal human being! He had had no idea that he evoked something that powerful in the people who he often spotted in concerts and meet-and-greet sessions. Meroko chuckled when she noticed Takuto's shock.

"Maybe it's not that easy to see from where you are. And it's not something you can really do anything about, either. There are thousands of girls, but only one Takuto Kira."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hmm, there were a lot of those line-thingies up there...  
>Unfortunately, next chapter is also going to be a bit late on the schedule. Starting tomorrow, I'll be out of country for a week and I guess it'll take me another week to complete chapter 8 (I'm not going to lie to you, I'm having a horrible time with a thing or two concerning the chapter...) So...please be patient!<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Phew. It took more than a month (that's closer to two months actually...) but fear not, for I am still alive and well, and nowhere near giving up. I spent a great deal of time procrastinating over this thing before I finally got so angry at myself I tested a devilish yet surprisingly useful website called "Write or die". Here you have the result.**

**Also, I listened to Scandinavian Music Group a lot and was inspired by their lovely song Huomisen sää ("Tomorrow's weather") and Maija Vilkkumaa's Yksi ("One"), both of which can be found in Youtube if anyone wants to hear some nice Finnish contemporary music.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8: You are all the shelter that I need above me<strong>

The next day, Meroko went out on her own, heading for her workplace.

'_Former workplace,'_ she reminded herself. She thought she could try begging her boss to let her keep her job, but she didn't think she could actually succeed, considering that she had skipped work for three days and hadn't even answered her phone.

'_Somehow I just thought it was Mitsuki again... But I'm not that sure I would've answered even if I had known...'_

In the end, she was prepared for her miserable defeat and hoped that she could at least get her final pay check – some small comfort, at least. But where was she going to find another job?

Meroko's stomach knotted tightly when she saw the familiar sign of the store from the other side of the road. She walked in through the sliding doors, passing a customer who was just exiting. She smiled weakly at the part-time girl who greeted her happily, and wondered if she could still turn and run. Just then, the store manager emerged from behind the magazine stand and noticed her.

"Hey, Yui! Follow me, will you."

'_He's so going to fire me,'_ Meroko gulped and wordlessly followed the man to the staff room. He sat down on a chair and gestured her to have a seat, as well. Meroko considered standing – it would be easier to flee the room after the metaphorical beating she was going to receive – but her legs were shaking and she decided that keeling over to the floor would not make her situation any less embarrassing.

"So, you're ready to join us again?"

"Yes, I understand that – huh?" Meroko blinked. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"Since you came all the way here, I thought you were going to tell me you're okay with starting to work again. It was quicker than I expected, but that just makes things easier."

"Does that mean I'm not...fired?"

"Well, you _would _be if you had asked me yesterday. This store has rules for both its customers and its staff, and people who don't comply with those rules are more than free to go without coming back. That's my policy. And thanks to your disappearance, Hanamura and Momochi had to do extra shifts. You're going to want to apologize to them later," the manager motioned towards the direction of the wall that was right next to the cash registers before continuing.

"But I'm not completely heartless. I was just going to wipe your name off the staff list when that man came here and said he wanted to talk to me. He said you were having a particularly difficult phase in your life and that you had a good reason and whatnot. At first, I told him that the damage had already been done, but he wouldn't give up! He kept on pestering me, even saying _he_ would do your work if that was the problem... So in the end, I had to promise him I'd give you one more chance, just to get him out of here. He was more persistent than a horde of starving mosquitoes!" the manager laughed. Meroko was still in the process of taking in the fact she wasn't jobless. She stared at the man, trying to look more intelligent than she felt. One of the many questions in her mind made it to her lips:

"Who...did that man say his name?"

"Hmm, I don't think he did. He said he was a friend of yours, though. Let's see...he was tall, blond...with yellow eyes. An unusual-looking fellow, if you don't me saying."

Meroko knew only one person that matched the description.

* * *

><p><em>Izumi.<em>

_Izumi. Izumi was back._

Takuto saying his name, his voice behind her front door...she hadn't just imagined those things.

Izumi was back. But why?

Meroko had done her best to concentrate on the conditions the store manager had given her – that this was the absolutely final warning she would get, that she would have to make up for the lost working hours, that she would need to prove she was serious about her job – but a large part of her brain had been whirring with an overflow of emotions.

After agreeing on starting work the following morning, she had gone home and dialled Izumi's number. She still remembered it by heart. But one question had stopped her from pressing the small, green button that could be the start of a new leaf in her life – or send her plummeting down to the very pits of misery she had just crawled her way out of.

Why had he returned?

He had talked to Takuto behind her back. He may even have influenced Takuto in some way. In fact, it was very likely.

_But he had saved her job._

What if that was just a trick? What if he was just trying to get her vulnerable and leave her like he once had?

_But what if he had had a reason back then...?_

* * *

><p>"Mitsuki, your phone's vibrating," Ooshige said, pointing at the glowing gadget on the table.<p>

"Oh, you're right. Looks like I have a message...?"

Mitsuki picked up the phone and noticed it was from Izumi. She had traded numbers with Meroko's ex-boyfriend and asked him to notify her if something came up.

"_She called. I'll be meeting her in fifteen minutes."_

The message was short and a bit blunt, but that probably couldn't be helped. What was important was that Izumi had followed Mitsuki's advice in the end and that he finally had got in touch with Meroko.

"Good news?" Ooshige asked grinning when she saw Mitsuki's face light up. The teenage idol smiled back at her manager and returned the phone to its original place.

"You could say so. It looks like things are finally going in the right direction."

* * *

><p>It took all of her self-control to refrain from punching, kissing and bawling him out – not necessarily in that order – but Meroko managed to stay calm when she saw Izumi for the first time in almost two long years. He was even taller and paler than before, or perhaps it was just her faulty memory playing tricks on her. He saw her coming from afar and followed her with his eyes, but remained immobile until she was close enough to hear him speaking in a normal voice.<p>

"It's been a while...Meroko," he said, and she was oddly relieved for the fact he wasn't smiling. She didn't know if she would have been able to handle his smile - either the bitter, cold one that sometimes took over him, or the one that was genuine, yet all too rare.

'_Meroko? Not Me-chan?'_ she thought, bewildered. She couldn't even remember the last time he had called her that...

"You were able to return to your job, weren't you?" he asked before she had time compose herself properly.

"Yeah, I...I did... It was you, wasn't it. The one who changed my boss' mind."

"All I did was ask him to give you a break. He liked you to begin with," the blond shrugged.

_'He did?'_, Meroko thought to herself, taken by surprise. She had always been a bit scared of the large man with an equally large voice that was as fearsome when he laughed as when he reprimanded someone who had made a mistake. Still, that wasn't what she needed to discuss with Izumi right now...

"Well anyway...thanks. You really helped me out."

Damn. She really wanted to confront him about his sudden disappearance, but couldn't find the words to do it. Even though he had done some pretty questionable things (and Meroko didn't even claim to know every single one of them), she was technically indebted to him. That, and – whether she wanted to accept it or not – she was happy just to see his face and hear his voice again, if just for a little longer. Damn her treacherous heart.

With Meroko's mind wrapped in an inner struggle, Izumi's courage began to run short. He looked like he was about to turn and leave. Noticing his intentions, she panicked and extended a hand to him, stopping him with her words.

"Izumi! Um...is there something you want me to do? I mean...to repay for saving my skin."

He didn't answer immediately, but he didn't look like he was actually trying to come up with something either. It seemed more likely that he already had something in mind, but was hesitant to say it aloud.

"There is, isn't there? Please tell me, Izumi," Meroko urged him, closing the distance between them in a few careful steps. Eventually he raised his gaze and said:

"Actually, there's a place I'd like you to accompany me... A haunted house."

* * *

><p>Returning to the house was like a long-forgotten dream and an ever-present nightmare all at once. Meroko's presence right behind him was the only thing that kept Izumi from turning around and never coming back. It had been on purpose that he had driven himself in a corner like this.<p>

"But Izumi, this...this is your old home, isn't it? Why did you say it was haunted?"

He ignored her question and focused on turning the tiny key in his hand. The lock opened with ease and the door let out a familiar creak, as if to welcome him home.

Almost nothing had changed in the apartment. It was a bit more unorganised, perhaps, and a good deal dustier, but essentially it was still the same house he had left behind him nearly three years ago. He had never thought he would return like this...

Meroko's curiosity got the better of her manners and when Izumi seemed to be nailed at the threshold of the front door, she stepped past him to venture deeper in the apartment she hadn't seen for a long time. No one seemed to be about – neither living nor dead. There were some clothes scattered on the floor and the clock on the wall had stopped. Even the plants on the windowsill were in a poor condition. Feeling a bit sorry for them, Meroko headed for the kitchen to fetch some water for them. When she couldn't find a watering can, she took a glass from the cupboard and brought it under the tap but when she tried to summon the moisture, none came. Apparently the water had been cut off.

By the time Meroko returned to the living room, Izumi had made his way there as well. To her surprise, he was sitting in the middle of the room, lost in thought.

"There's no water, Izumi," Meroko remarked, though it wasn't really all that important. She just wanted to say something.

"Yeah."

Meroko cast her eyes down, discouraged by his lacking response. Only then she noticed that in the empty glass she was still holding, there was a tiny, long-legged spider trying to escape its transparent prison. Rationally speaking, the spider was probably a lot more frightened by Meroko than the other way around, but it didn't stop the latter from crying out and dropping the glass on the floor. It shattered with an ear-piercing sound and the spider, luckily unscathed from the impact, hurried into hiding under the nearest shelf.

"I – I'm sorry..." Meroko quickly apologised, embarrassed by her silly behaviour that didn't suit the serious atmosphere at all. However, Izumi's trance-like state of mind seemed to have shattered along the glass. He glanced at her and spoke as she reached for the broken pieces.

"Never mind. That was just an old glass...besides, the less stuff there is here, the easier it'll be..."

"What do you mean?"

"They said I need to make a note of all the valuables here...for the inheritance tax. And someone is supposed to come to evaluate the worth of the place before I can sell it."

She wanted to ask him what exactly had happened. Of course, there were more than enough hints for her to be able to grasp the overall picture, but she couldn't find anything that would have explained the strange aura around Izumi. So, she pretended not to notice something was off, stepped over the pieces of the glass and went next to the window, putting a smile on her face.

"You know, I always liked this place a lot," Meroko said.

"Why?" Izumi asked, his voice sincerely confused and only a little doubtful.

"It's small. There's just enough space for two, and you don't have to yell for the other person to hear you if they are in another room. Besides, the view is lovely! The windows give to the East, so I bet the sun is just gorgeous when it rises from behind all those huge trees..."

Unbeknownst to Meroko, her words evoked a memory he had long forgotten, tucked deep inside his bandaged heart. After many nights when he and his mother had secretly cried themselves to sleep in their respective sides of the room, he sometimes would climb out of his bed when it was still dark, and wait for the dawn. He would sit on the floor next to his mother's bed and wait for the first rays of sunshine reach the room, and her face. Izumi rarely dared to look at his mother's face when she was awake, so he remembered her best like she was in that very special moment: her calm face bathing in golden light, framed by her dishevelled hair, remnants of tear trails still on her cheeks. A sad, but beautiful picture.

Meroko watched Izumi's thoughtful face, wondering what he was thinking about. She had hoped to cheer him up, but he seemed so far away again... Eventually she went over to him, settling to sit on the floor with him, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"Izumi...why did you leave me back then?"

He didn't answer at once. Just when she was about to give up and look away, he spoke in a voice that was little more than a whisper.

"I was afraid."

"Afraid? ...Of what...?"

"Afraid of you. Of myself...I don't know anymore. When I was with you...I couldn't control what I was feeling or doing! Like I was a completely different person! I thought I just had to get away from you...but..."

His voice had grown louder with each word until he was yelling, pressing his fingernails to his palms so hard she began to worry they might pierce his skin. She approached him slowly, as if too quick movements could frighten him, and took his head to her hands. She pressed it against her chest, rocking back and forth like one would comfort a crying child. But Izumi wasn't crying. He had given that up years ago. He just sat with an expressionless face, letting Meroko stroke his hair and cradle him gently.

Eventually, he took a hold of Meroko's arm and moved it aside, straightening his back. He was now face to face with her and her left arm was still in his grip, the right one resting on his shoulder. He looked Meroko in the eye, and only now realised how much he had missed having those eyes on him, and no one else. He brushed a stray lock of her hair from her face with his free hand and inched his face closer to hers. He half expected her to draw back, but she returned his gesture instead, bringing their lips together.

After the kiss, Meroko nudged her face into the curve of his neck, seeking the warmth of his body. He quickly obliged, putting his arms around her.

"Are you still afraid?" she asked quietly, and her breath on his neck gave him goosebumps.

"Terrified," he answered truthfully, all too aware of the fact that she could probably feel his heart racing inside his ribcage. "And you?"

"Never felt safer," she whispered with a contended sigh. They stayed that way for a few more moments until he gathered his courage and moved so that he could see her face again.

"Me-chan...can you forgive me...and come back?"

"I forgive you...but," Meroko paused, looking at their joined hands and biting the inside of her cheek. "Can you give me some time?" When she felt his hands tense around hers, she continued quickly: "Don't misunderstand, Izumi... I _love_ you, more than anyone. But...I don't want to hurry you too much, or myself, either. I think that's what made everything go wrong last time... So let's try again at the beginning – slowly. Okay?"

Her smile was so charming he found himself trying to match it without realising. It seemed she had learned something, too.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Made it all the way here, did you? Good 'cause I have another surprise for you: DOUBLE POST! (First time I've done that apparently.) So go on, click the last chapter – but review first, right? :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Short, I know, but it supposed to be like an epilogue or something. Just tying up the loose threads in here. It looks like there are a lot of Takuto-Mitsuki fans out there so you might like this (haha even I liked it even though they both annoy me to no end more often than not).**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9: For the happiness (I'll be wishing you forever)<strong>

"Takuto!"

Takuto turned to the direction of the voice calling his name and watched Mitsuki run to him with a wide smile plastered on his face. She was beautiful as always with her mane of dark curls chasing her, complimented by her crimson coloured coat and her angelic face. He just couldn't get enough of her.

It had already been three months since the day he and Meroko had made peace. Summer was long gone and most of the trees had already dropped their leaves. November was rapidly approaching.

Takuto did get news about Meroko from Mitsuki every now and then – that she and Izumi started dating again, or that she had switched to work part-time in order to continue her studies that she had abandoned after leaving her childhood home – but although he was glad to hear those good news, they filled him with a strange feeling he couldn't quite name. He knew it wasn't jealousy, for his happiness was right where he was at the moment: still singing, and at Mitsuki's side. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that something important was slipping through his fingers and he didn't know if he could help it in any way. Meroko _had_ said she wasn't sure if things could return to the way they were before that night in June when she forgot her cell phone at the Black Orchid club, and it seemed she had made her choice, just like Takuto had made his. Perhaps it was too much to ask, after all that had happened...

Hikari was going out with a different guy again. She and Takuto hadn't talked much during the past months, either, but he could swear she sometimes watched him from afar with dark eyes, and if there was a man's arm wrapped around her waist, she pushed it away when Takuto was looking. He wondered if she understood the real reason why he had been so angry about her continuous two-timing...and hoped that someone somewhere would be wise enough to explain it to her more gently than he ever could.

"...Takuto? Are you listening?"

"Mmh? What did you say?"

"I was just asking if you wanted to go somewhere special, but you seemed to be spacing out," Mitsuki explained with a charming smile.

"Oh. No, I don't really have anything in mind. _Jonathan's _is just around the corner, though."

"Ooh, then I can have their raspberry parfait!"

Yes, this really was happiness. Mitsuki's debut album was going to be released soon, and he was currently working on the mixing of his own album. They were both doing what was the most important to them, and the public seemed to love them: even the tabloids wrote only nice things about the couple – well, mostly at least.

* * *

><p>When he returned home after the date, he stopped by his mail box, which was starting to get full again. He mostly got just some junk mail – the important things, like work-related stuff, were usually handled via e-mail – so he didn't bother to check it every single day. Therefore he was surprised to find there was a letter for him. His fan mail usually was addressed to the agency and he couldn't imagine who would send him a letter, of all things.<p>

After taking off his shoes, scarf and coat, he sat down in the kitchen table and opened the letter. The paper immediately gave the sender away: he recognised the pink rabbits in each corner of the sheet. The letter said:

"_Dear Takuto,_

_How are you doing? I'm sorry I haven't been in touch lately. I've just had so much to do and to think. I tried to call you and write to you, SO many times...but in the end, I didn't know what I really wanted to say._

_I guess Mitsuki has been keeping you up to date, though? So you already know I'm seeing Izumi now. I hope you still believe I wasn't just trying to use you to replace him. I was serious when I said I loved you...and even though things didn't quite go as I had thought, I'm really glad it all happened. After all, I know now that the real Takuto Kira is even greater than the singer you. I'm really glad._

_I'm moving together with Izumi soon. Actually, we just got engaged! (Even Mitsuki doesn't know yet, so don't tell her. I want to surprise her!) __It looks like we beat you to it..._

_In any case, I just wanted to let you know I'm doing fine, and that I'm looking forward to your new album. I bet it'll be even more amazing than the last!_

_Forever your fan & friend,_

_Meroko"_

Takuto read the letter twice before putting it on the table, giving a small laugh to himself. Funny that a small piece of paper like that could dissolve so many clouds in his mind, that a simple word like "friend" could make him feel that much more at ease.

Deciding to compose a proper reply later in the evening, Takuto went to his bedroom to change into something more comfortable, but was stopped by a photo frame on his desk. There was a picture of him and Mitsuki in their last visit to the amusement park. Absently staring at the picture, Takuto mumbled to himself:

"Engagement...huh?"

Maybe he had some shopping to do...

**THE END**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aaand here we have it. Love for all who read this and maybe, just maybe, felt a little bit of something while doing so. This is my longest story so far, and the original goal was just to be able to test my ability to carry the weight of a story of this size (though it's not really that long - about 27 000 words, the rest is my blahblah in bold letters.) But even though I got sidetracked and utterly frustrated may times along the way, I actually did manage to finish the whole thing so I'm satisfied either way.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**- Aozora -**


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